From Pain to Power: Healing Wounds from Your Inner Child through Acceptance & Forgiveness

Your inner child is a part of your human psyche that remains full of innocence, awe, and wonder. When our inner child is healthy, and we are connected with them, we tend to be invigorated, inspired, and excited.

However, what happens when our inner child is wounded from past trauma or mistreatment, and we are out of touch with them? When we ignore the inner child in our psyche, as adults, we feel dark empty lost, and disconnected. We remain controlled by them, and their pain "haunts" us.

Inner children still hold enormous power over lives, and our relationships and are the lens through which adults make their decisions. They subtly but directly influence all that we do. This article will further explore the topic of the wounded or injured inner child, how these little beings can affect our adult selves.

"You might not remember it, but your nervous system does."

Victoria Erikson

What is an Inner Child?

The concept of the Inner Child emerged from a combination of psychoanalytic, psychodynamic, and humanistic approaches to therapy and personal development. Although it is not a formal psychological theory, it has become a valuable tool in therapy and personal growth.

Inner children are our selves when we were kids but they never had the opportunity to really grow up. They hold all the messages, memories, and emotions that we learned and experienced when we were naive, helpless, and dependent on our caregivers. Our inner child represents the emotional and experiential aspects of childhood that continue to influence an individual's emotions, behaviors, and relationships in adulthood.

Unfortunately, it is these inner children who also absorb all the negative and harmful words and actions of those who were supposed to keep us safe. Once wounded or misguided, these inner kids negatively influence who we are as adults.

FOOD is not a reward.

CONNECTION is not a reward.

AFFECTION is not a reward.

ATTENTION is not a reward.

CLOSENESS is not a reward.

FREEDOM is not a reward.

These are human NEEDS, and the birthright of every child.

Blimie Heller

There are two primary core needs of our inner child:

1. SAFETY means that the nervous system feels secure, protected, resourced and able to regulate the intensity of emotional, physiological, psychological and relational responses. Safety is about having a stable somatic foundation from which to engage with the world.

When this need is not sufficiently met (embodied), the nervous system adapts through survival strategies/roles to substitute for the lack of safety. Survival means seeking safety in adaptive ways.

When this dynamic becomes ongoing, we experience an internal conflict between 2 opposing needs: the need for safety (still unmet) and the momentum to seek safety in survival ways because that's what the system did for so long.

2. CONNECTION: Humans are social beings, and our nervous system has a profound need for connection to fellow humans and Nature around us. When this need is not met or insufficiently met, the nervous system will perceive the relational field (internal, external) as unsafe and adapt through isolation from Nature or codependency, for example.

Healing means the path of restoring and embodying these core needs. Activation/Deactivation is the core cycle through which our nervous system regulates our inner life. When this cycle is disrupted, the nervous system engages more energy in self-protection.

ACTIVATION - To Be Safely Mobilized). Mobilization of energy, stimulation, excitement, curiosity, play.

DEACTIVATION - To Be Safely Resting Relaxation, rejuvenation,sleep, integration

"Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness. It is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. It's about the loss of connection – to ourselves, to our bodies, to our families, to others, and to the world around us."

Peter Levine

Why Is Healing the Inner Child so important?

People rarely have a clue of the subconscious wounds playing out in their lives. We're often living one or multiple painful situations but we don’t realize that those situations and the people involved are helping them heal deeper psychological patterns and subconscious programming that has been with them for a very long time, even multiple lifetimes).

Remember that your inner child deserves love, care, and the opportunity to thrive. By nurturing and healing our inner child, we can begin to

• see the deeper psychological patterns in your life you hadn't noticed before

• connect incidents that previously seemed unrelated

• uncover subconscious programming

• create life-altering transformation

• unlock the potential for a happier and more fulfilling life

• mend our broken or dysfunctional partnerships and other relationships

• honor ourselves and others on a deep and profound level

The small, lost, and lonely parts of ourselves are afraid, anxious, and insecure, and that can make our lives miserable. However, there is hope. Inner child work, including self-parenting, can ease the pain and heal the wounds left behind by caregivers who were neglectful, abusive and toxic.

"The past is not dead; it is living in us, and will be alive in the future which we are now helping to make."

William Morris

Your Loved Inner Child

All children deserve to feel safe from harm and lack. They naturally crave, and need, unconditional love, respect, and comfort more than anything else. When children feel safe within the families they were born into, their boundaries are respected, and their needs are met they can grow to be secure, healthy adults.

There is so much security in feeling loved and seen in these particular ways:

• Having someone invest their full undivided ATTENTION with us.

• Having someone express AFFECTION towards us.

• Having someone ATTUNE to our underlying feeling states.

• Having someone look upon our efforts with ADMIRATION and awe.

Patterns and behaviors of a safe inner child:

• Playfulness and Spontaneity: A safe inner child feels free to express joy, play, and engage in spontaneous activities without fear of judgment or criticism.

• Trust and Openness: When the inner child feels safe, they are more likely to trust themselves and others. They can be open and vulnerable, forming healthy connections and relationships.

• Curiosity and Exploration: The safe inner child exhibits a sense of curiosity about the world and a desire to explore and learn new things. They are open to new experiences and are not constrained by fear or anxiety.

• Healthy Emotional Expression: A safe inner child is capable of expressing emotions healthily and authentically. They can identify and communicate their feelings effectively, without suppressing or denying them.

• Self-esteem and Self-worth: The safe inner child possesses a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-worth. They believe in their abilities, feel deserving of love and respect, and have a positive self-image.

• Independence and Autonomy: When the inner child feels safe, they can develop a sense of independence and autonomy. They are more likely to make decisions based on their own desires and needs, rather than seeking constant approval or validation from others.

"Healing your inner child is the key to healing your life."

Louise Hay

The Unsafe Messages Children Receive

Childhood trauma, where the child’s needs are not met physically, emotionally, or spiritually, destroys a child’s sense of security, causing them to become more fearful, assuming the world is a scary and dangerous place. When a child feels continually endangered, a massive gaping wound opens in their psyche that is so painful that many adults unknowingly repress it.

If a child is not loved for his essential self, their egocentricity sets in - i.e. “If my primary caregiver is having a bad day, it must be my fault.” Because of this, the child becomes inwardly anxious and hypervigilant, and develops an outward persona to preserve Mom’s happiness, because she is essential to the child’s survival.

Depending on the severity of the conditions, this process takes up a lot of emotional energy. It leaves no room for the child’s “true self” or “inner being” to emerge through normal play and other explorations.

The child may become arrested emotionally at any number of phases of development, and grow up to harbor what Bradshaw calls a “wounded inner child.”

The following unhealed wounds from childhood will inevitably manifest into problems and insecurities in our adult relationships because there remains a core need to feel safe and liked.

Abandonment Wound

Worthiness Wound

Rejection Wound Neglect Wound

Physical Neglect. Physical safety and nourishment are basic human needs that are to be given freely from caregivers to children. However, in the case of physical neglect, these rights are violated and are lacking. Unfortunately, physical neglect does not mean only that the child was kept from food and shelter. It could also mean there was a violation of their physical safety in the form of sexual abuse.

Emotional Neglect. In this type of neglect, a child’s caregiver does not show enough interest in the child’s emotional needs for support, respect, and love. In these cases, either the caregiver does not pay attention to or condemns any emotional expressions that the child might need.

Psychological Neglect. This kind of neglect occurs when the child’s caregivers fail to listen, nurture, and embrace the beautiful human beings that they are. This form of neglect includes any or all of the following:

• Name-calling

• Insults

• Ridicule

• Yelling

• Gaslighting

• Lack of privacy

• Making overt threats

"Forgiveness is about making a conscious decision to live in the present, even if the past still hurts."

Words can hurt as severely as actions with some of the signals given to children leaving deep scars that can last a lifetime. Some of the actions and punishments that leave open wounds are:

• Not allowing a child to have their own opinions

• Discouragement from playing or having fun

• Not allowed to display strong emotions

• Punishing for speaking up

• Continuously shaming by caregivers

• Not allowing spontaneity

• Was not given appropriate hugs, kisses, or cuddles

Regardless of the type, childhood neglect will manifest later in life in heartbreaking ways. In adulthood, this child (or collection of wounded inner children and their respective protective “parts”) may throw tantrums by demonstrating unhelpful , self-sabotaging or self-destructive behaviors.

"Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness."

Eckhart Tolle

Living in Fear

The root of all of these behaviors is to protect the EGO. They all stem from the desire, the NEED to be accepted. Thus the remedy is unconditional love - the feeling that you are accepted, recognized, and valued exactly as you are, imperfections and shortcomings, flaws and all.

Healing can be scary because you have to learn to understand who you were in every phase of your life and you need to come to love, accept and forgive that version of yourself. We have to let go of the idea that we must be perfect to be loved.

A wounded inner child is still holding onto the limiting beliefs, narratives, and perceptions they formed in childhood. Their adult selves are ruled by false narratives and false perceptions, living in a constant state of anxiety, avoidance and FEAR. Fear of...

• change vs stagnation/monotony

• success vs failure

• embarrassment vs praise

• abandonment vs engulfment

• independence vs dependence

• rejection/criticism/judgement

• betrayal/injustice

• vulnerability/intimacy/connection

• discomfort/pain/conflict

All of this manifests somatically in the most common and everyday conditions and behaviors we see in society. Unresolved wounds look a lot like chronic stress, mental illness, neuroses, mood disorders,or sickness.

In other words, when our bodies are in constant Fight, Flight, or Fawn mode, when our nervous systems are constantly dysregulated we suffer greatly, and therefore so do those around us.

"The degree to which a person can grow is directly proportional to the amount of truth they can accept about themselves without running away."

Lelan Val Van De Wall

Signs & Symptoms of A Wounded Inner Child

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is a psychological condition that results from prolonged exposure to traumatic events or chronic trauma, often occurring during childhood or over an extended period of time. Repeated traumas, such as ongoing abuse or neglect can significantly impact various facets of life, including emotional well-being, relationships, and overall functioning.

The harm done to your inner child is directly correlated with the ways you feel unsafe in the world. If you recognize yourself in many (not necessarily all) of the below-listed conditions or patterns, then there is a high chance that you have a wounded inner child.

“Your pain needs to be recognized and acknowledged. It needs to be acknowledged and then released. Avoiding pain is the same as denying it.”

Yong Kang Chan

Author John Bradshaw uses the acronym "CONTAMINATE" to describe how the wounded inner child might appear in adulthood. Below are some signs, symptoms, and signals that you have a wounded inner child.

Codependency

Offender behaviors

Narcissistic disorders

Trust issues

Acting out or acting in behaviors

Magical or delusional thinking

Intimacy dysfunctions

Non-disciplined behavior

Addictive and/or compulsive behaviors

Thought distortions

Emptiness, apathy, and depression

Additional patterns of an unsafe or wounded inner child result in the poor coping mechanisms and the following types of self-destructive behaviors:

How do you know if you have an inner child that needs healing work?

If you have the tendency to be easily triggered, anxious or insecure these are signs that could point to having an inner child with unresolved wounds. Your reactions could be rooted in the past and stemming all the way back to childhood.

Emotional Reactivity & Dysregulation

Difficulty recognizing, managing intense emotions or expressing emotions authentically. This manifests as

• Confusion -Alexithymia, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions.

• Numbness - suppressing or repressing emotions with substances or denial, Avoiding or overcontrolling situations that trigger painful memories or unsafe emotions, meaninglessness

• Reactivity or irritability - unpredictable mood swings, intense irrational outbursts, overly sensitive or defensive to criticism

• Inauthenticity - hiding true feelings behind a facade, Overworking to avoid facing emotions,

• Disconnectedness- dissociation, apathy, low empathy/insensitivity

• Intensity - overwhelming

Relational Difficulties

Difficulty identifying, expressing, or communicating personal needs or limits, as well as difficulty maintaining secure connections and attachments. This manifests as

• Fear of being alone - clinginess. or codependence

• Intimacy problems -difficult forming deep connection

• Tolerating toxic, unsafe, unhealthy, high-conflict relationships

• Insecurity - Being overly sensitive, easily offended or hurt, making negative assumptions about others intent

• Judgementalness - jumping to conclusions, delusional reasoning, setting overly high standards

• Resentment and Rage - rebellious, violent, disrespectful or aggressive behavior

• Avoidance - Self-Isolating & Self-Protection - Being overly guarded, mistrustful, withdrawn, expecting harm, dissapointment or rejection from others, coldness of others

• Codependency - Being overly attached or clinging, prioritizing others needs

• Denial and blame shifting - making excuses, avoiding taking responsibility or accountability for your own life.

• Hyperindependence- fear of relying on others, not asking for help

“Beautiful are those whose brokenness gives birth to transformation and wisdom.”

John Green

Energetic Challenges

Difficulty setting boundaries on one's time, energy, or values. This manifests as

• People-Pleasing & Approval Seeking - constantly seeking validation or reassurance, recognition, from others, Prioritizing and overvaluing others' opinions and needs over their own, Overcommitting one's time or energy, Poor boundaries - saying yes to everything, difficulty setting boundaries or disappoint others

• Perfectionism & Overachieving - setting impossibly high standards, Being overly structured, or serious and putting unnecessary pressure in life, over-delivering, Being overly rigid or uncompromising

• Overworking & Overfunctioning- Hyperarousal, hypervigilance, hyper independence, hyper-productivity, impulsivity, burnout, compulsive behavior, easily startled, self-sacrific

• Overanalysis & Overthinking - ruminating thoughts, overcautious, paranoia, watchful

• Avoidance or Inaction- Isolation, Having trouble starting or finishing tasks or projects, staying in the comfort zone, requiring predictability, Aversion to risk or uncertainty, Procrastination, struggling to accept affection or attention

• Materialism & Overconsumption - Scarcity mindset, lack mentality, hoarding, overspending, overaccumulating, binge-watching

• Memory Problems - memory loss, fragmented memories, forgetfulness, brain fog, intrusive memories

• Attention Deficit - procrastination, distractibility, disorientation/dissociation, poor focus, poor concentration, unproductivity, executive dysfunction, short attention span, poor self-control, impatience

• Dysfunction or Disorders - eating disorders, sexual dysfunction, self-harm, insomnia/sleep disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder

• Mental Conditions - severe depression, anxiety disorders, addiction/substance abuse, nightmares, flashbacks

• Somatic Ailments- sickness/disease, fatigue, insomnia, chronic pain, panic attacks, fertility/reproductive issues, physical tightness or tension

Everyone who heals themself helps heal all the people that came before them, and all the people who come after.

Deep Insecurity - Identity or Self-perception Difficulties

Poor self-esteem and low self-worth. A deep sense of inadequacy and insecurity - feeling unworthy or undeserving of love, happiness, attention, visibility or success. Disordered beliefs about self.- perceiving oneself as flawed or broken. This manifests as

• Self-criticism - having a harsh inner critic, negative self-talk, Feeling guilty or ashamed for having needs, rejecting praise, dismissing compliments, downplaying achievements

• Self-doubt - indecision, insecurity, feeling like a fraud or imposter, fear of failure

• Self-blame

• Self-shame - feeling guilt from the past, constant comparison to others

• Self-sabotaging - denying opportunities for success or achievement

• Self-neglect - avoiding self-care or wellness, deprivation, Feeling guilty for taking care of oneself, neglect of self-care

It's important to note that these patterns can vary in intensity and presentation from person to person, and individuals may exhibit a combination of both safe and wounded inner child patterns. This will look different for everyone, and every relationship. It's never black and white- it's a spectrum.

When we view our patterns as incomplete responses or experiences seeking resolution, a lot can shift. Rather than a “problem” that needs to be stopped, our patterns are there to remind us to seek completion through connection.

If you identify with many of the ‘wounded’ qualities or behaviors, know that you are not alone. We all have painful experiences and unconscious programming that we are exposed to, especially growing up in a Patriarchal, Capitalistic society.

It is 100% possible to heal these patterns and become the healthy, balanced and empowered version of yourself that you came here to be.

"The wounded child inside many individuals is a hidden pain that shapes our adult lives, and unless we understand the past, we cannot understand the present."

Alice Miller

"The 5 Thieves"

According to Traditional Chinese Medicine we are all made up of a combination of the 5 Earth Elements and discovering which those elements was most injured during your early childhood can be extremely insightful. Once you unmask it and see how this wound has conditioned the way you perceive the world it will become your greatest gift.

The Five Thieves are essentially the five negative emotions or traits that can affect a person's overall health and well-being.

There is a correlation between certain Gene Keys and elemental constitutions.

• WATER Constitution - 40th Gene Key - Holding onto FEAR

Theme: resolving fear of insecurity and finding inner stillness in the face of uncertainty

• METAL Constitution - 12th Gene Key - Holding onto LOSS

Theme: overcoming self-pity and grief, finding beauty in the process of letting go.

• FIRE Constitution - 55th Gene Key - Holding onto EGO

Theme: using ambition constructively, overcoming impatience, restlessness and need for recognition/attention/validation

• WOOD Constitution - 17th Gene Key - Holding onto ANGER

Theme: how to stay consistent and bring things into alignment, channeling sense of purpose, justice, and assertiveness.

• EARTH Constitution - 14th Gene Key - Holding onto WORRY

Theme: overcoming overthinking, creating a stable and balanced foundation.

Determining the constitution that is most injured or wounded in a person's life involves TCM pulse and tongue diagnosis, questioning, observation, and symptom analysis. A personalized treatment plan may include acupuncture, herbal remedies, dietary adjustments, lifestyle changes, and emotional support.

“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.”

Audrey Kitching

Re-Parenting Your Inner Child

Psychologists and trauma experts often use a concept which is ‘reparenting’. This means that a person tries to reparent themselves as if they were a young child still and try to meet their own needs.

Reconnecting with and reparenting your inner child is imperative if you want to feel authentically confident and empowered in yourself. And awareness is key in starting the healing process.

The small, lost, and lonely parts of ourselves are afraid, anxious, and insecure, and that can make our lives miserable. However, there is hope. Inner child work, including self-parenting, can ease the pain and heal the wounds left behind by caregivers who were abusive and toxic.

Treating, healing and nurturing the inner child involves

• creating a safe and supportive environment

• fostering self-compassion, self-care, and emotional recovery.

• addressing the “original pain,” from the past

• allowing yourself to feel the repressed feelings in the present.

Usually, this work needs to occur from each stage of development, from infancy to teenager.

When we can see our patterns as possibly incomplete responses, or incomplete experiences yearning to manifest, we can honor ourselves and others in a much deeper way.

ALIGNED ACTIONS

• Achievement: List all your accomplishments, skills and qualities to remember your value

• Emotions: Focus on positive stimuli/inputs more than negative ones

• Play: Allow yourself to have fun

• Self-Talk: Practice affirmations to improve confidence and self-esteem

• Needs: Work proactively to identify your own needs, and meet them

• Boundaries: Accept your comfort levels on things and set boundaries accordingly

• Validation: Accept the feelings, truths, intuitions you have instead of pushing them down or away

• Encouragement: Keep a photo of your younger self where you can it daily. Every time you have a big decision to make, ask what 'would my younger self say'? This practice leads to many joyful and adventurous choices.

"Your ego is a mask that your inner child wears. Underneath it all, your inner child is a costume of innocence decorating the highest self of all. This is the play of existence. The purpose is not to escape the play, but to learn how to play at full capacity for the wellbeing of all."

Matt Kahn

Radical Acceptance

Radical acceptance is the practice of fully embracing reality as it is, without resistance or denial, even when it involves pain, discomfort, or hardship. It involves acknowledging the wounds of our past without judgment or the need to change them, allowing us to release the struggle against what cannot be controlled or undone.

By accepting both the difficult emotions and the circumstances that caused them, we open a path to self-compassion and healing, as we stop perpetuating inner conflict and make space for growth, peace, and the integration of our experiences into a more empowered present.

"Radical acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as they are. A moment of radical acceptance is a moment of genuine freedom."

Tara Brach

The Ancient Wisdom of Ho'oponopono

Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiian spiritual practice and healing philosophy that focuses on acceptance, forgiveness, cleansing and reconciliation. It emphasizes taking responsibility for one's thoughts, emotions, and actions. Forgive those who may have contributed to your inner child's wounds, understanding that this is for your own healing process, not to condone past actions.

In Ho'oponopono, the goal is to release negative energy and memories. Apply this concept to your inner child healing by releasing old wounds, beliefs, and patterns that no longer serve you. While these principles can be a valuable part of your healing journey, it's essential to tailor your approach to your unique needs and experiences.

The Four Mantras

Repeat the following to cleanse negative patterns or low vibrations from your life. You can think the 4 mantras, say them out loud, read them in your head or write them. You may repeat them once or many times... there are no set rules as long as you're doing what feels right and it with LOVE and COMPASSION in your heart.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me" - accepting responsibility and requesting to make amends for the thoughts, actions and feelings of your current self, past self, future self, higher self or anything else that has caused conflict or tension to manifest in your life

"Thank you. I love you" - showing gratitude and appreciation to higher self as well as universe for allowing this earthly experience of connection, growth and learning.

BONUS: "CEE-PORT" is a Ho'oponopono cleaning tool. The acronym means:

Clean

Erase

Erase

and return to Port (Home/ Divine/ Universe/ Spirit or whatever you wish to call Source energy)

At the end of the day, the only two people worth impressing are your 5 year old self, and your 85 year old self.

First forgive YOURSELF for any self-blame, guilt, or shame you may carry from past experiences. Then, forgive your parents and caretakers for...

• Raising you amidst their own unresolved trauma, pain, fears, and anxieties

• Not having the capacity to understand you or meet your needs

• Not teaching you specific skills, lessons or concepts because nobody taught them

• Being emotionally unavailable because that's all they knew

• Doing the best they could

• Following cultural norms

“Forgiveness is a state of being that can actually mitigate the effects of the consequences of a negative act. Forgiveness of yourself, forgiveness from others, forgiveness to others is actually a vibrational state that will actually mitigate the effect of the consequence of a negatively intentioned act. It is a mitigation cancellation system, that’s what forgiveness is as an energy. It’s bringing everything back to zero.”

Bashar

Taking Responsibility

The first step in healing your inner child is to acknowledge it is there and that he or she is wounded. Accept the failures or misfortunes of your life and see them as a badge of honor showing your depth of character and wisdom. Recognize that your inner child's wounds are not your fault, but it is your responsibility to address and heal them as an adult. We are each responsible for our own healing journey.

To know where you're going you must first acknowledge where you are. Which type of trauma is yours? Own it!

• Rejection Trauma

• Abandonment Trauma

• Betrayal Trauma

• Injustice Trauma

"The wound is not your fault but the healing is your responsibility."

Journaling & Reflection

Ask the simple question: Which parts of my childhood bother or upset me most?

Next, engage in a comforting, reassuring and empowering inner dialogue with your inner child. Practice active listening to their responses, acknowledging their feelings, and validating their experiences. Ask questions like,

• What would you like to share with me?

• What are your biggest concerns/fears/worries/triggers?

• What negative emotions do you feel /respond/react with?

• What are your earliest memories of your unmet needs?

• What did you need to hear that you didnt?

• What did you need to say that you couldn't?

• What did you need to happen that didn't?

• What self-sabotaging patterns or behaviors developed from your unmet needs?

• What do you need to feel most safe and equipped in life?

• What yearns for completion, resolution, meeting, joining, being seen, being known?

• What didn’t get to happen?

• What happened that shouldn’t have?

• What can I do to help you be who you want to be?

• How can I help meet those past needs now?

Then write a letter from their perspective, summarizing all these things and continuing to validate their feelings and provide support and reassurance.

"People find healing in places where they are...

HEARD, not gaslit

SEEN, not ignored

LOVED, not shamed

These are the deepest of medicines."

Dr. Will Cole

Repeat Self-Love Affirmations

Regularly affirm your love, acceptance, and forgiveness for your inner child, fostering a sense of safety and self-compassion.

As your loving mentor, caretaker or parent to your inner child

• I love and care about you

• I believe and trust you

• You are worthy of love, attention and respect

• It's okay to express your emotions

• I choose you every day, and always will

• I will always guard and protect you

• You never have to worry. You are free to rest and release

As your own adult self:

• Positive energy nourishes my body and helps me radiate joy out to others

• A peaceful, happy and abundant life is being created for me now

• All my words, thoughts actions are divinely guided and protected

• Every challenge in my path is an opportunity to grow and improve

• My contributions to the world are unique, valuable and meaningful

• I deserve to feel comfortable, confident and safe in my body

• I love and accept myself exactly the way I am

• I am safe to be whatever I am, wherever I am, however I am

• I forgive myself for living in fear- the only way I knew how

• I forgive myself for choosing the wrong partner, family, etc

• I forgive myself for letting others determine my worth

• I forgive myself for making excuses for those who hurt me

Other helpful scripts and narratives:

“Sweetheart, I can see that you feel lost. You don’t know where to go next, and you doubt that you will ever know. But you will. I can assure you that you will. And when you know it, you can pursue it. You’ve made it so far, haven’t you? You have more in you than you think you do. You are kind to others, you are taking care of yourself the best way you can, you are doing everything at your reach. You always have. Just keep holding on, my love. This, too, shall pass.”

“It’s okay to feel angry, Love.. Your anger is valid. I love you no matter what. You know what? You can scream. Scream, my beautiful creature. You are stunning when you scream. You are full of power, raw energy, and the time will come to use it well. You are simply taking your time. It doesn’t matter that things didn’t go well this time; but they will, when they have to. You are doing great.”

“My dear, I know you are feeling anxious about not having completed all your tasks for today. I know it makes you doubt if you will ever be able to achieve your goals. I know it makes you fear that you will end up out of money, out of friends, out of love. But here’s the truth: it doesn’t matter that you had a bad day. I know you’re trying hard. I know you’re giving your best. You deserve a rest. You are amazing, and you’re going to make it.”

Practice Visualization

Use meditation to connect with your inner child, listen to their needs, and offer comfort and support. Visualize your inner child and imagine yourself extending compassion, and forgiveness to them.

Imagine that you take your inner child's hand and walk with them. Talk to them and ask how they're feeling. Let them reveal everything to you and then assure them they're safe, holding them close. Then see the two of you having fun singing, dancing, and playing. Then put them "back in your heart" and know that they are always held in love.

"Healing is not about becoming the best version of yourself. It's about allowing the worst version of yourself be loved."

Kobe Campbell

"I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you."

Ceremonial Rituals

Rituals can remind you of your commitment to healing and provide a sense of ceremony and intention. Incorporate ceremonial rituals like lighting candles or creating altars to create a sacred space for your inner child healing work.

Seeking Connection

Humans are biologically hardwired for connection, and so many of us have interrupted experiences of connection at a very early age. So when we enter partnerships, friendships, and any type of connection with another human, it makes sense for all of the misattuned little parts to come back alive to seek attention.

When we enter relationships, what also enters are two small children tugging at one another saying ‘Look at the hurt I experienced! Notice what is incomplete within me! Help me mend my past pain!” These two inner children come together, both yearning for healing and completion.

While it isn't anyone's responsibility to mend another's inner child or past hurt, genuine loving connections have the ability to spark the deepest healing and repair.

Practicing Self-Care

Reparenting and caring for yourself can start with scheduling time to do small things that are simple, easy and bring you joy.

• PLAY - coloring, bubble bath, movie nights, stomping in puddles, dancing, singing

• NUTRITION - eating well

• MOVEMENT- yoga, tai chai, hiking

• STILLNESS - Rest, breathwork

Other Healing Modalties

Somatic Experiencing: Release trauma stored in the body by focusing on physical sensations

Energy Healing: Clear emotional blockages through energy work.

Art Therapy: Express childhood emotions through creative activities.

EFT Tapping: Release emotional pain by tapping on acupressure points.

Shamanic Healing: Use rituals or spiritual journeys to heal past wounds.

Breathwork: Release deep emotions through controlled breathing.

Sound Healing: Use vibrations from sound to balance emotions.

Ecotherapy: Heal by spending time in nature.

"A child’s healthy growth depends on someone loving and accepting him unconditionally. When this need is met, the child’s energy of love is released so he can love others.”

John Bradshaw

Wrapping it Up

Our wounds are not something we need to be ashamed or embarrassed of. They are a doorway to our power. They are the "roots" of our selves needing tending so that the "branches" of our lives can truly flourish. Through awareness, acceptance, and self-care you can heal your inner child.

Embarking on a journey of inner child healing can be a profound and transformative experience. And no two paths are the same. Inner child healing is a deeply personal and individual process that can take lots of time and energy. But rest assured, the rewards of your effort will be worth it!

It may seem scary at first, but remember, it's important to let go of the past to make space for a brighter future. Be patient, compassionate, and persistent as you work towards healing, and don't forget to seek support from friends, family, or professionals if you need it.

If you're ready to take the next step in this journey, exploring additional self-development and self-actualization tools can further guide you in aligning with your true self. Whether you choose to delve into the intricacies of your Human Design or prefer to seek balance through Feng Shui, creating harmonious spaces, inside and out, can support your inner growth. Reach out to us for personalized services, and let's continue to process of helping you blossom into the best version of yourself. I look forward to connecting with you soon.

"Healing is hard because it's just an ongoing series of doing thing you don't want to do...

Feeling when you want to numb.

Communicating when you want to be silent.

Setting boundaries when you want to sweep it under the rug.

Putting yourself out there when you want to isolate.

Connecting to your body when you want to dissociate.

It goes against our natural instincts. It's about showing up to ourselves how we actually want to, and challenging deep rooted systems and wiring. It's about acknowledging all the ways you learned to protect yourself are just keeping you from your true potential and best life."

Nikki Roy

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Erin is a certified feng shui consultant, energy healer, wellness coach, and holistic growth strategist.

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