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Reclaim Your Truest Self By Deconditioning through Human Design

"Are you aware that you are conditioned? Most people are second-hand human beings. The truly religions man is one who realizes his conditioning and begins breaking through. As long as you remain within the field of culture, society, greed, envy, you are not a free human being. You may think you have free will but you are just part of this monstrous society, a conditioned human being."


De-conditioning is a word you may have heard once or twice while learning about Human Design.

To HD founder Ra Uru Hu, deconditioning refers to the journey of unraveling and shedding the layers of our societal conditioning to reveal , rediscover and reclaim your authentic Self.

The deconditioning process, also called Differentiation, is the path to our purest identity and wiring. It begins with becoming aware of who you were at birth, who you are and who you are not and involves playing and experimenting with various strategies and tools within your day to day experience.

Human Design and the Gene Keyes offer the ideal framework for the deconditioning process. In this post, we will explore how this transformational journey can empower individuals to live in alignment, authenticity and abundance.

"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that isn't really you"

Paulo Coelho

Our Conditioning & Programming

Social conditioning refers to the influence of external factors- especially family, society, and culture on our behavior, beliefs, and decisions. Our conditioning is all of the "shoulds" in life.. It is how we go through our days with the subtle internal dialogue of "In order to be loved/safe/trusted/enough , I have to be/act/do this.. "

Conditioning can include imprints from

  • generational patterns

  • ancestral wounds

  • cultural norms

  • societal expectations

  • family of origin

  • friends or coworkers

  • mainstream media

  • outside messaging

  • false identification

  • survival programming

  • seasonal changes

  • hormonal cycles

  • aging/generational changes

  • projection from others

Throughout our lives, we become colonized and homogenized by absorbing other people's perceptions about what is needed for human belonging and connection. Basically,

From an early age, we are conditioned to conform to a certain role or play a certain character in order to keep ourselves "safe" in the context of the tribe (or family, team, or other social unit). This patterning creates distortions and disconnection from our true essence.

Over time we unintentionally, unconsciously outsource our power and lose our truth. We gradually acquire an inner voice telling us that positive experiences and feelings (Success, Satisfaction, Peace or Surprise) are unholy or "bad" for some reason. So we keep ourselves...

  • stuck and stagnant

  • small and unseen

  • settling against or suppressing our true selves

We begin to let others decide and dictate our dreams and desires, and this ultimately results in negative experiences and feelings (Anger, Bitterness, Frustration, Disappointment).

When we talk about social conditioning in Human Design, we are talking about how our open gates, channels, and centers and constantly taking in outside energy, including others' thoughts, beliefs, narratives, and stories. Over time,through our Openness, this outside energy gets absorbed and written into our psyches as our own thoughts, behaviors and choices.

Usually this absorbed energy is incorrect/misaligned for us and only causes us suffering and self-destructive patterning in the form of

  • limiting beliefs

  • guilt

  • shame

  • anxiety

  • hyper-vigilance

  • burnout

  • envy

  • depression

  • confusion

  • insecurity

  • frustration

  • overwhelm

  • pressure

"The Universe provides each of us with exactly what we need to HEAL, GROW, EVOLVE, TRANSFORM, CREATE and THRIVE in every area of our lives. The secret to mastering the art of living lies in our ability to allow ourselves to receive the abundance of resources, wisdom and support all around us.”

Linda Joy

Why is Deconditioning Important?

True self-healing begins with an un-doing, de-conditioning, or deprogramming of what we thought was the Self - concepts that began before our birth and continued to form in us through age 7.

Once we separate ourselves from the noise of the Mind and outside influences we experience what the Self really is - the holy presence and truth within the Body.

Engaging in the deconditioning process can have profound benefits for individuals as it leads towards Authenticity, Alignment and Abundance

  1. Empowerment - embrace the true self, leading to a greater self-acceptance and self-love.

  2. Fulfillment - align with their innate purpose, passions, and values, leading to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life.

  3. Freedom- liberate from societal and self-imposed limitations, leading to new opportunities, possibilities and expanded horizons.

  4. Connections - foster more genuine interactions, leading to healthier and more fulfilling relationships with others

Unraveling the Layers

Deconditioning involves letting go of ingrained, but incorrect, patterns, beliefs, and behaviors that are not aligned with who we truly are. This involves

  1. Awareness and Recognition - The first step in deconditioning is becoming aware of the conditioning that has influenced our lives. Recognizing the societal and familial patterns that have shaped our decisions and behaviors is crucial for initiating the deconditioning process.

  2. Experimentation and Observation - Human Design encourages individuals to experiment with their unique strategy and authority (decision-making process) to make choices that feel aligned. Through this experimentation, we can observe the outcomes and learn what truly works for us.

  3. Unlearning and Releasing - Deconditioning involves unlearning the societal beliefs, fears, and limitations that no longer serve us. It requires questioning the status quo, challenging assumptions, and releasing old patterns that hinder personal growth.

  4. Embracing Authenticity - As conditioning is shed, individuals can tap into their authentic nature and embrace their unique qualities, gifts, and purpose. This includes honoring their true desires, passions, and values, rather than conforming to external expectations.


The term "deconditioning" should not be seen as a rejection of the past but rather as an evolving awakening and heightened awareness. It can also be viewed as a journey that parallels the stages of grieving, ultimately leading to growth and transformation. 

Some individuals may approach deconditioning with a sense of

  • Denial or resistance, viewing it as a form of escapism or avoidance.

  • Frustration or anger towards their past conditioning, blaming it for their limitations or challenges, leading to a desire to reject or distance themselves from it.

  • Bargaining or negotiating, seeking quick fixes or shortcuts to eliminate their conditioning entirely.

  • Sadness or depression when confronting their past conditioning and its challenges, grappling with the emotional weight of their experiences.

The ultimate goal of deconditioning is ACCEPTANCE, acknowledging the reality of past conditioning without denying its significance and integrating the lessons learned from it.

Human Design is a transformative life process and journey just like grieving is, requiring patience,grace self-compassion and a willingness to integrate lessons learned from past experiences.

"Real transformation is rarely about doing more. It's about doing less. Less of the patterns your younger self put in place to get love, praise and safety. This is the great unwinding."

Cory Muscara

The Work

The deconditioning process also breaks down into two kinds of work:

  • Behavioral change

  • Identity change

Behavioral Change

This refers to the process of consciously shifting and modifying our actions, habits, and patterns of behavior. It involves becoming aware of the conditioned behaviors that are not in alignment with our authentic selves and making conscious efforts to change them. Here's how behavioral change plays a role in the deconditioning process:

  1. Awareness of Conditioned Behaviors: The first step in behavioral change is developing awareness of the behaviors that have been influenced by societal conditioning. This involves recognizing patterns, reactions, and habits that are not truly reflective of our authentic selves.

  2. Challenging Conditioning: Once we become aware of our conditioned behaviors, we can begin questioning them. We can ask ourselves why we engage in certain actions or behaviors and evaluate if they are in line with our true nature and values.

  3. Intentional Action: Behavioral change requires conscious effort and intentionality. It involves actively choosing new behaviors that align with our authentic selves and making consistent efforts to embody these changes in our daily lives.

  4. Practice and Reinforcement: Like any habit change, behavioral change requires practice and repetition. By consistently choosing and embodying new behaviors that resonate with our authenticity, we reinforce the changes and make them more integral to our way of being.

Identity Change

This involves shifting our self-perception and the beliefs we hold about ourselves. It is about letting go of the conditioned identities and roles that have been imposed on us by society and embracing a new sense of self that is aligned with our true essence. Here's how identity change comes into play during the deconditioning process:

  1. Exploring Authentic Identity: Identity change begins with exploring and understanding our authentic identity beyond the roles and labels we have been conditioned to adopt. It involves deep introspection, self-reflection, and questioning the beliefs and narratives that shape our self-perception.

  2. Releasing Limiting Beliefs: To change our identity, we need to identify and release the limiting beliefs and narratives that no longer serve us. This may involve challenging societal expectations, cultural norms, and self-imposed limitations that hinder our growth and self-expression.

  3. Embracing True Self: Through the deconditioning process, we strive to align our identity with our true essence. This means embracing our unique qualities, gifts, passions, and values, and letting go of the need to conform to external expectations.

  4. Integration and Self-Acceptance: Identity change is a journey of integration and self-acceptance. It involves embracing all aspects of ourselves, including our shadows and vulnerabilities, and developing a compassionate and authentic relationship with ourselves.

By engaging in both behavioral change and identity change, individuals can undergo a holistic transformation and reclaim their authenticity. It is an ongoing process that requires self-awareness, self-reflection, and a commitment to personal growth. The deconditioning journey empowers individuals to live in alignment with their true nature and create a life that is authentic, fulfilling, and in harmony with their unique design in the world of Human Design.

The 5 Stages of Your Design

The stages below are very general and differ from person to person depending on their own personal development and awareness.

STAGE 1 - Homogenization

At this stage, you don't know who you are. You are full of conditioning. Most of your behaviors are based on either society, family, friends etc… You lack boundaries and uniqueness. You are unable to make true decisions for yourself and struggle to find the correct path.

STAGE 2 - Individuation

You begin learn about yourself through HD or other systems. Through those, you experience a deep sense of recognition, relief from being given permission to be yourself. You enter this process of de-conditioning, during which you release everything that is not you.

This stage has its dark side though - it can come out as excuses like “sorry that’s just me, not gonna change," It tends to be very fixed and sometimes indulging in the shadows, using the knowledge to justify it all. A LOT of people end up stuck here.

STAGE 3 - Evolution

Once you’ve had enough of your own shadows, you start to realize that there’s lots of room to evolve inside of your specific design. You understand that for every attribute you have, there is a shadow, a gift and a siddhi. The goal becomes evolution through the ladder of consciousness. To be “you” - at higher and higher frequency levels.

This stage can still show some dogmatic rigidity and deafness towards outside input. Ignoring the gifts that come from other designs, and missing out on so much.

STAGE 4 - Integration

Once you finally find your core stability, you feel confident enough in opening yourself back to the world. Unlike unconscious conditioning, this is a process of consciously learning from and integrating the outside world.

You start paying close attention to other profiles - and what you might learn from them. You start seeing that some of the deepest healing for you is found in the gifts of the other. This can lead to deep mutual bonds and beneficial connections.

At this level, you are still very fixed on the knowledge itself with its profiles and numbers.

STAGE 5 - Transcendence

After a while, the teachings are no longer needed. The profiles, centers, channels, lines etc… all those numbers, slowly start to fade away and leave room for the mystery of Life.

Your way to this stage cannot be faked tho, and the previous stages cannot be skipped. It’s a natural evolution that leads to this point, where - to paraphrase Richard Rudd: "the teachings self-destruct, and the profile vanishes".

Learning about these stages is important for you to keep in mind that There’s always the next stage of ascension evolution and enlightenment and it’s important to know where you stand.

Also, life isn’t linear, and it tends to work in spirals of repeating patterns. You might be circling through the stages at different times of your life.

You might also notice that you are fragmented and different aspects of you - reflecting different areas of your life - are each at different stages of development.

Tools for Deconditioning

As counterintuitive as it feels and sounds, in order to feel right, we must actually lean into what feels "wrong" to us!

The Human Design system offers several methods to figuring out what feels good in the body instead of the mind.

  1. Strategy and Authority - Each Human Design type has a specific decision-making strategy and authority. Following these strategies helps individuals make choices that are in alignment with their true nature. When Strategy and Authority are honored and followed it will result in the most flow and abundance in life because it aligns you with the creative Source of the Universe. Source does not want you to suffer or struggle, or constantly feel in survival mode.

  2. Inner Authority Exploration - Human Design provides different inner authorities, such as emotional authority, sacral authority, or self-projected authority. Exploring and understanding your inner authority can guide you in making decisions that resonate with your authentic self.

  3. Gene Keys and Profiles - The Gene Keys system, which is integrated with Human Design, provides insights into one's unique gifts, life purpose, and potential shadows. Exploring your Gene Keys profile can offer deep self-reflection and guidance for deconditioning.

Harmonious Best Practices for Your HD Experiment

  • Strive to sleep alone whenever possible

  • Let decisions move at any speed based on your own clarity

  • Encourage each person to express themselves in their true nature

  • Follow your Type, Strategy and Authority

    • Generators: Honor your sacral response

    • Projectors: Use your insight without expectation

    • Manifestors: Celebrate informing and impacting

    • Reflectors: Mirror and magnify others' truth

Wrapping It All Up

The purpose of Human Design is in self-understanding, self-illumination, self-development and self-improvement, but also self-awakening and self-ACCEPTANCE. It's about embracing and honoring the truest, most real and raw version of yourself, which so many of us keep hidden for lifetimes.

The deconditioning process in Human Design is a transformative journey. that allows us to

  • discover your purpose

  • unlock our full potential,

  • align with our true nature

  • connect with our inner truth

  • return home to the body

  • live a more empowered and fulfilling life

Your chart is a MAP to your own homecoming. You'll discover that true happiness has nothing to do with anything you seek or find outside of you. True joy blooms from within.

Deconditioning is not a straightforward, quick or easy process. Ra said that it takes the average person seven years to decondition after they've learned the basics of their energy type. This journey requires tremendous patience, focus and effort. It is multi-dimensional, multi-layered and goes far beyond the limits of one's profile. It's a true real-world life experiment that will involve lots of trial and error.

Over the course of your process, you'll become more comfortable in your skin and be able to fully drop in to the body. You'll no longer live in the head, but in your CELLS. You'll no longer follow mental concepts,

but the wisdom emanating from your being.

Remember, the path to self-discovery and growth is unique for each individual, so honor your own pace and trust in your inner compass.

And of course, HD isn't the ONLY path to deconditioning. Not everyone starts their journey in the same place. Regardless of where you begin or end, the most important thing is to have awareness and recognition when and how you are out of congruence with your True Self.

"Don't tell me how I should go. Don't tell me to go that way. I'm not going that colonial way just to please you.
My way is not one of destruction, power and domination. My way is of creativity, art, knowledge, love, respecting the beings, nature and freedom.
I go my decolonial way, my Indigenous way, my ancestral way. I'm going only that way. I only go where my essence's steps take me. I hope we'll meet along the Decolonial Way."

eloy bida

Ready for a comprehensive HD chart reading to reveal your true potential? Let's chat!


Erin is a certified feng shui consultant, energy healer, wellness coach and holistic growth strategist.

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