Heart-Centered Spaces: Magnetize & Manifest LOVE With Full-Spectrum Feng Shui
“Spread love to the north, kindness to the south, compassion to the east, goodness to the west. Spread love throughout the whole world.“
Whatever you call it, LOVE is a liberating and transformational force that we all want, need - and deserve! .
Each of us is biologically hardwired for connection and belonging which allows us to express the energy of Love in a variety of ways:
Physically - touch, closeness, affection, intimacy, generosity.
Emotionally - care, empathy. desire. respect, honesty, patience, vulnerability, validation.
Mentally - presence, attention, responsive, stimulation, understanding.
Spiritually - chemistry. connection, energy. depth.
And whether it's through self-love, romantic love, familial love, platonic love, collective love, environmental or astral love, all relationships are a form of energy alchemy and transfer which can be enhanced and strengthened with intention and mindfulness.
Full-spectrum Feng Shui is a term I use to refer to the energetic alignment and healing that occurs in optimizing our physical spaces, but also focusing on our innermost metaphysical realms too. Read on for an in-depth guide on how to use feng shui holistically to attract healthy relationships and invite love into your life from all directions.
"The feeling of Love is the highest frequency you can emit. The greater the love you can feel and emit, the greater power you are harnessing."
The Outer Work: Your Spaces
1. Locate Your Guas
Our homes are the physical manifestations to our life, and vice versa. Ancient practitioners of feng shui used the bagua map to interpret areas of our life within the context of our spaces.
Your Partnered Love Gua
To locate the area of your home associated with love and relationships, stand at the entrance of your home, which is the metaphorical/symbolic "Northern" part of your floorpan. From there, your Love Gua is in the rear/-right quadrant of your home (the "Southwest").
Your Self-Love Gua
Diagonally opposite to the Love gua is the Wisdom/Knowledge area, in the "Northeast". This positioning is interesting and meaningful because it symbolizes the heart-brain connection: how our mental health and inner spiritual connections directly influence our ability to attract and maintain healthy, external love. And on the reverse side, that without experiencing deep, soul relationships it is difficult to truly know your self, and life, fully.
In other words, an imbalance in one area correlates to an imbalance in the other, so its important to activate your Wisdom/Knowledge corner in conjunction with the Love/Relationship Gua.
"When we are in a state of heart - brain coherence...we make clearer & better decisions. We can experience elevated emotions such as love, gratitude & compassion... Above all, we create balance. Balance within as well as without, and when coherence occurs on a large enough scale, it’s possible that we create this balance across the entire world. "
2. Support Your Spaces
It's essential that you feel grounded and safe in your home in order to attract a partnership that will allow the same stability and support.
As discussed, your home's floorplan and layout can greatly influence your love life, as everything in feng shui is a metaphor. For example, having a closet or bathroom in your Love/Relationship or Wisdom/Knowledge gua is generally inauspicious because these rooms generally hold negative Chi in the forms of waste, clutter, or stagnation. So, it's of the utmost importance to incorporate feng shui principles with subtractions and universal enhancements.
Outside of the bagua map, there are two key rooms in the home that strongly influence our relationships: the bedroom, and the Kitchen.
The Bedroom is the center of the Divine Feminine/yin energy which is associated with fertility, intimacy, connection, and overall wellbeing. As such, we should create a sanctuary for three things: sleep, stillness, sexuality - which are the cornerstones of healthy relationships.
If your primary bedroom aligns with the Northwest corner of your home, you are in ideal feng shui alignment, but regardless, this room should optimized with identical bedside tables/lamps, sturdy headboard, luxury bed linens and other transcendental cures to preserve the environment of strong relationships.
It's best to avoid distracting, items like mirrors, electronics, or exercise equipment which creates restless (ie. unromantic) energy. Another thing to avoid is sleeping on mattress which holds energy of breakups, divorce, infidelity or relationship conflict. (Tip: If you're not able to replace the mattress altogether, you can put a red sheet below your top sheet to represent protection.)
The Kitchen, in contrast, embodies the Divine Masculine. Again, if this room aligns with either of the two Love guas, then you are in overall positive placement. This area innately holds lots of yang energy because it's associated with lots of activity and affiliated with the fire element, so depending on you and your partners personalities and dynamic, you may need to implement remedies to neutralize this intensity.
Other rooms which can help attract love and relationships:
Living Room - overall neutral placement but can be optimized with pillows, rugs, two coasters on coffee or side table and other transcendental cures below.
Dining Room - overall positive placement optimize with table-setting for two, bowl of fruit: 3, 8, 9 apples (red for love, green for friendship).
It's important to note that no matter what room your Love/Relationship gua falls in, avoid the following as they create energetic resistance or blockages to new love.
Clutter or anything that is not loved, used, or needed
Remnants and reminders of past relationships
Single or solitary furniture, items etc.
Because both the Love and Wisdom guas are governed by the Earth element, and it's supporting element of Fire, you can activate these zones by implementing the following elemental cures and remedies:
EARTH: crystals, pottery/ceramics, salt lamps, square shapes, yellows and tans.
FIRE: candles, lanterns, animal prints, triangular shapes, reds, oranges, peaches, pinks.
You can also add a variety of transcendental, metaphysical or traditional cures to call in romantic partnership. Examples include:
Doubles/Pairs of items such as candle sticks, lamps, rose quartz, mandarin ducks, cranes, bamboo stalks, images or amulets of suns or dragons (male), or phoenix or moons (female)
Happy, Loving Couples or pairs depicted in artwork, images or photography
Living things such as loving pet companions or house plants with heart-shaped leaves, or in pink or peach colored orchids, roses, lotus or peony flowers. You can also look into your dedicated love "totem animal" based on the Chinese zodiac.
Comfort & Conveniences for your future partner. Make literal space in your life for them and their belongings!
Make room in your closet and leave a few empty hangers, especially specific types (for example if they wear suits or ties)
Stock your bathroom with a new toothbrush for them, or contraceptives in your. bedside table.
Stock your pantry or fridge with their favorite snacks or drinks.
Sleep on the energetic side of your bed, and park on your energetic side of the driveway, reserving the other side for them (Left for Yin/Feminine and Right for Yang/Masculine)
Circular Items to represent harmony and everlasting love such as a round rug, curvy furniture, or mystic knot on doorknob
Intentions & Affirmations written as if your ideal partner is already here, sealed in red envelope and placed under pillow or in altar space.
Sensory Enhancements like aromatherapy diffuser with aphrodisiac scents (lavender, jasmine, vanilla mint and citrus) or a playing a curated playlist of songs you would enjoy together as a couple.
Altar Space can be an extremely powerful tool in manifestation work, even if the altar is not located in your associated Love guas. Create a dedicate spa for mementos and reminders of the two types of sacred love:
Self-Love: Gratitude list (27 things), meditation bowl, awards, portraits, astro birth chart, personality test results, light vs shadow lists, resume, mirror.
Partnered-Love: list of desired partner and relationship qualities, love notes from past, vision board, empty wine glasses, spare key. As you light two candles in your altar (or one reflected in a mirror), call in a soul whose energy and lifestyle harmonizes completely with yours, whose vision and values align with yours - someone who fits into your life seamlessly. Imagine the full-body feeling of it happening.
Whatever YOU Love and cherish emits positive Chi, unique to you and your home. Surround yourself with only the clothes, art, furniture, and housewares that "spark joy" within and elevates your frequency. Every time you keep something you don't love, it lowers your vibration - and your homes frequency. So bring in more of what you love and let go (donate, sell, etc) what you do not. Just because you don't love it doesn't mean someone else won't.
"A house is made of walls and beams. A home is made of love and dreams. "
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Inner Work: Your Self
Once your space is in alignment to attract a partner, you can shift your focus to the most important foundation of all: your own heart.
Remember, no matter how attuned and aligned your home is, the manifestation of true love and partnership actually begins on the inside.
Our bodies and brains are wired for connection, but also for protection. Our past conditioning can severely limit the ways in which we approach new experiences and the world at large.
But we can't just go through the motions of self-improvement and think that's enough. We must actually change and transform on a deep, vibrational level.
You no longer need to search for what you thought was outside of you. YOU are what you need to complete your life. YOU are the answer. Remember the mantra: "Me before We"
When we focus our energy within, everything changes. When we connect with our own inner being and practice self-love, we are wiring new pathways which will become the foundation of the healthy, loving relationships that await us. When we exude positive, light-filled energy, we then attract the same.
"Remember that people will love to their level of self-love, communicate to their level of self-awareness, and behave to their level of healed trauma"
Overall there are three energies created and exchanged during a relationship: you, your partner, and your union. Guess which should always come first? YOU! Its imperative that you preserve and protect your own energy so that you can share the best of yourself with your partner, and the rest of the world.
So what is self-love and what does it look like? Self-love is how you feel about yourself, how you treat yourself= and It looks a lot like what goes into being a great partner to someone else, except instead of focusing externally you are focused inward!
Self-Awareness: Our ancestral/patriarchal and early childhood wounds determine our internal programming surrounding issues of trust, respect and communication, which directly influences our attachment styles in our adult relationships. As the ego (both individual and collective) will inevitably step in to protect and guard our hearts from that same pain, shame, rejection of our past, this can create insecurities and energetic blocks in our nervous system which contribute to unstable or dysfunctional relationship patterns, also known as your "attachment style". This can manifest as low self-worth, codependency, domination/control, criticism, manipulation, blame, gaslighting, defensiveness, overfunctioning/hyperviligence, abandonment, avoidance, anxiousness. The good news? Awareness is the first step to any positive change!
Another framework for self-understanding is Human Design. Learn your Type, Strategy, Authority, Profile and Definition to stay in alignment with your truest, most authentic energy and life purpose. You can also become aware of your Channels which will come into play in compatibility with others.
Self-Healing: In order to get to the root of our relational patterns we need to unveil and confront our darker sides and get to know ourselves on the most primitive level. Energy healers refer to this as "shadow work", and can result in the opportunity to erase wirings from the past by "re-parenting" your wounded inner child. Other modalities of energy work such reiki, EFT and embodiment can assist in this cleansing. We also can heal our energy/spirit through restorative activities like time in nature, creative arts, and meditation.
Healing is not about becoming the best version of yourself. It is about allowing the worst version of yourself to be loved.
Self-Acceptance: True energetic recalibration occurs when you begin living in absolute authenticity and flow. For that to happen we must first see, accept and embrace ourselves exactly as we are made physically and emotionally, flawed, messy and imperfect "works in progress" and yet still absolutely deserving of love, joy and abundance. From there we can begin to accept others exactly as they are too. We begin to meet people where they are now, not where we want them to be. And ultimately in that acceptance we gain the wisdom and courage to walk away from those who lower our vibration, deplete our energy - knowing that it is purely up to them to change, when, if and how they want to.
Self-Respect: Take time to get clear about what your needs and desires are, what your non-negotiables are, and what you're willing to compromise on. Sacrificing these standards through approval-seeking/people-pleasing behaviors as a form of self-betrayal and self-abandonment. You, and only you, can determine what your truth is and where your comfort zone lies - what you tolerate, what your limits, preferences, standards and expectations are, You decide what is realistic and reasonable. Do not disrespect yourself by compromising your boundaries or settling for mediocrity or the bare minimum.
Self-Worthiness: What do you allow for yourself? What do you feel worthy of? Do you welcome abundance in all areas? Remember that you are deserving of soul-shaking, life-affirming, life-expanding "storybook love" ...in the past, present and future - regardless of your journey. You deserve a connection which won't ever require you to downplay or dilute your personality or suppress your needs, feelings or thoughts. You deserve devotion, communication, commitment, and complete reciprocity.
Self-Sovereignty: It's perfectly normal and natural to crave a partnership but the danger lies when that desire becomes desperation, as that creates an energy based in fear, not love. Aim to feel balanced, whole and complete regardless of your relationship status. Strive to fill your life with such joy and fulfillment that a partner simply becomes an added bonus. The right partner will add value and peace to our life. Focus on building multiple inter-dependent support systems and honoring your best interests, following your own highest good so that you are stable and content no matter who comes and goes in your life. Find acceptance, ease and comfort in your solitude while gently holding space for connection if/when that someone special comes along.
Self-Compassion: Each day try to reflect on what you did well, and what you could do better. Instead of criticizing, comparing, shaming or judging yourself when you make a mistakes or slip into old patterns, simply extend heart-felt forgiveness. Extend validation or accountability when needed, and move forward without the urge to gaslight yourself. Remember, you are never too much (needy, intense, demanding, crazy,) etc. Stop trying to make the wrong people love you the right way!
Self-Pleasure: Focus on the lost arts of pleasure and play in order to access your divine feminine and masculine energies. In learning how to improve the way we treat and carry ourselves, we influence how others and the world treat us too. Of course this goes beyond basic "self-maintenance"- tending to the simplest needs of food, clothing, shelter which allow us to feel grounded and safe in our physical bodies (AND are the foundation of our mental health too). It's important to also look for activities that stimulate the senses, ignite creativity or inspire mindful presence. Follow what feels good, and get curious about what doesn't. Any activity that is not achievement/goal-oriented, that allows you to simply feel the richness of Being, is great practice for starting new relationships and navigating intimacy later on.
Self-Expression: What lights you up? What fuels you? What fills your cup? Share your gifts, talents and skills with others. The world needs your offerings, your energy. This is your love. Spread it far and wide. Be who you are and do what you love - unscripted, unmasked, uninhibited, uncensored. Our truest, genuine selves crave the opportunity to express the words and actions that are authentic, pure and from the heart. From there we seek similar feelings of freedom in our partners - someone who can truly know us, see us, hear us, understand us and cherish us. Someone who allows us to feel safe enough to completely be our authentic selves is perhaps the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Self-Esteem: Believe in yourself! Believe that you are amazing, beautiful, capable and valuable. Celebrate your wins and successes - big and small. Honor your strengths. It's ok to be proud of yourself and toot your own horn! Your opinion about yourself is the only opinion that matters. Be your own biggest cheerleader.
Self-Mastery: Focus on becoming your highest self - the best version of you, inside and out. When you embody happy, secure attachment and emotional maturity, then you will attract happy, secure partners and partnerships. Through your everyday relationships (with family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, your spirit guides/angels/ancestors and most importantly- yourself) you can actively practice being that perfect partner you desire.
Do you trust yourself? Are you consistent and reliable? Do you keep promises to yourself?
What is your inner monologue when you make a mistake? Are you kind and forgiving?
Do you compliment yourself?
Do you enjoy your own company and go on solo adventures?
Do you set boundaries with yourself and honor them?
Do you support the choices you make?
Do you honor your emotions? Do you support self by listening, sharing, engaging, sharing and validating?
Do your actions match your words? Are you clear and transparent?
Do you have a growth mindset and prioritize personal development?
Are you curious in conflict - regulating and responsive instead of reactive?
Are you looking and seeing with your heart, and not your eyes?
Start with you, then expand. Someone who is able to listen, engage, share, and support themselves and those around them. so that their partner can be their best self too!
"I have come to this planet to learn to love myself more, and to share that love with all those around me."
Self-Trust: Developing self-trust is essentially about building a better relationship with yourself. It’s showing yourself compassion, listening to yourself and giving yourself the space you need. Feel your feelings, honor your inner critic, stick to routines and goals, develop your intuition. Also extend trust to your spirit guides and the divine timing of the universe. Everything is happening right on schedule. Trust that your wishes were heard, and that they - or something even better- will be granted.
Self-Care: Are you taking care of yourself, mind body and spirit? Practice speaking your "Love Language" to yourself! These are often the things that we crave the most from our partners, but neglect in ourselves, leading to habitual self-sabotaging, self-destructive or self-loathing behaviors.
Physical Touch - massage, soft fabrics, exercise, spa treatments, self touch, good nutrition and hydration, baths, pampering.
Words of Affirmation - positive self-talk, journaling, mantras, self-praise, gratitude lists.
Acts of Service - scheduling, cleaning, decluttering, coordinating, delegating, therapy, budgeting.
Gifts - vacations, flowers, books, adornments, housewares, treats, subscriptions, experiences.
Quality Time - meditation, creative arts, learning, hobbies, lounging, tv or movies.
"When we love, we strive to become better than we are. When we become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."
Other ways to call in your ideal love:
Recognize The Ego. It is extremely common for us as un-healed humans to believe someone can (and should) meet all our needs. When we project our unresolved traumas and insecurities onto our partners it ultimately results in control, judgement or shame - either from our partners or our selves. Ego love is based in the needs for comfort, safety, or praise and validation. It often results in dependency because there is insecure attachment from childhood wounds. Authentic love, in comparison, is unconditional love. This means you require nothing in return for the embodying expression of love. No agenda, conditions, expectations, stipulations or judgements. You’ll feel free to express your needs and boundaries because there is mutual respect and admiration, even in the midst of difficult conversations or conflict. An authentic relationship should not be a way to project your identity, control future outcomes, secure material resources or services, to fulfill obligation, to avoid guilt or fear of loneliness, to appease your need to be recognized, or to win or feel chosen. It will be about an eternal heart and soul connection, not about a temporary exchange or transaction. As we do the work, our relationships will shift. We'll begin to clear people from our lives that are ego-driven, and attract new, more authentic partners in their place
Get Clear. Make a list of qualities in your ideal partner, and another list of characteristics for your ideal relationship dynamic. Include a list of WANTS, one of NEEDS. and put a star next to any of these that are non-negotiable. Use these lists as your guiding compass, honoring it as your core truth. Think of these as requests, not requirements - and also recognize which originate from the Ego's need to feel safe or comfortable. Once you can narrow down your list to the essentials from your purest/highest self, use them in your daily meditation ceremonies and monthly moon rituals. Lastly, rather than obsessing on these lists and what's missing/lacking, shift focus on what you DO have in life. You must be willing to fully let go of your own best-laid plans and be open to something even better coming along.
Relax to Attract. Detach from all of your rigid plans and perceived outcomes in life as these are a form of limiting belief. Source is the ultimate intelligence and has a better, bigger plan for us than we could ever conceive. Practice outrageous openness to all possibilities, having an abundance mindset about how, when, where you'll meet your future partner, who they'll be, or what your relationship will look and feel like. Loosely hold, not grip, from your visions and control. Allow and welcome in both the beautiful and perfect, AND the unexpected or uncomfortable. Surrender, accept and flow, not insist, resist or force. Embrace the void, hold still, dwell in the unknown, ground in gratitude, and wait with patience for life's magic to unfold.
Release the Past. Now is the time to stop idolizing and fantasizing about past lovers, clinging to old memories, pining for reconciliation, or holding them as your strict standard for every partner you meet moving forward. Also let go of all of the negative memories and attachments to the people, fears, traumas, losses, heartbreak, struggles and stories that carry toxic feelings of resentment, betrayal or victimhood. It is safe to let down your guard and start a fresh new day, to write a new narrative for the future.
The Magical Triad. A successful, sustainable relationship is a complicated mix of the superficial/external/practical/logistical and the spiritual/internal factors, many of which are completely out of your control. It is rare gift for all of these to fall in alignment AND to be fully reciprocal!
Fit - a harmonious union of energies
Chemistry - natural electricity/magnetism, sensorial, pheromonal
Compatibility - ease, flow, complementary energies, values, goals, lifestyles
Commitment - readiness, willingness
Feeling - a connection in mind/body/spirit
Lust - an attraction, an interest, a thrill, fades over time
Like - an affinity, intimacy, shared vulnerabilities, connection, can endure over time
Love - a choice, an act, sensuality, can grow over time
Fate - timing
Remember Your Why. Life is meant to be a shared experience, and because of this so many of us romanticize the concept of love, and the idea of a perfect partnership. In reality there is no perfect partner, so attracting that special someone should not be about "the destination" - it should be about a journey of learning and growth, contributing to your soul's evolution. True love is a healing and uplifting force which trickles out and everywhere.
If my energy doesn't wake you up, I'm not for you.
If my mind doesn't inspire you, don't force connection.
If my thought doesn't make you think deeper, it makes no sense to keep me in mind.
If my passion doesn't move you, then it's better to change direction.
If my presence doesn't help you evolve, my absence certainly will.
If my love doesn't open your heart permanently, another love will.
Go and find what makes your being vibe, don't even stop to look behind you.
One of the greatest acts of love is letting go. Vibration doesn't lie. Trust your process."
You, your partner, your network, your community, THE WORLD all become better when you radiate and spread the energy of love.
When we can accept and honor ourselves unconditionally, then we can accept and honor others unconditionally too.
When we radiate self-love and self-worth, we strengthen our energy from the inside, out. Then the universe will begin to mirror our high frequencies back to us by delivering people, opportunities, situations, and surroundings which serve our higher purpose.
Yes, you can attract true love and light, along with an abundance of wealth, health, happiness, peace, and protection. Yes, you are worthy of having it ALL.
True love is generated from within. For true love to be there, you need to feel complete in yourself, not needing something from outside. True love is like the sun, shining with its own light, and offering that light to everyone.
Thich Nhat Hanh
Erin is a certified feng shui consultant, energy healer, wellness coach and holistic growth strategist.
SUBSCRIBE NOW to receive short & sweet tips for intentional interiors, sustainable systems, and high-vibration, low-impact living - straight to your inbox! You can also stay connected on social media at the links below.