Release to Rise: Live Your Life to the Fullest Through The Zen Art of Detachment
"Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. ”
Simone Weil
As a deeply curious, deeply sensitive and passionate person I invest heavily to my work, my relationships, and my home. Through age and experience however, I have learned that an excessive attachment to these external parts of my life tends to lead to delusional thinking and an inability to cope when things don't go as planned.
Thankfully along my spiritual journey, I discovered the concept of detachment and never looked back.
Detachment or Non-Attachment, the ancient art of letting go, is a powerful philosophy that offers this path to serenity and tranquility. The concept has roots in various philosophical and spiritual traditions throughout history and has been explored and practiced in different ways across different cultures and belief systems.
It is a core teaching of Eastern philosophies such as Hinduism, Buddhism, and Taoism, as well as more European philosophies like Stoicism and in modern spiritual and New Age movements. Ancient philosophers and the oldest teacher of all, NATURE, remind us to embrace the impermanence of life.
In this blog post, we will explore the concept of detachment and how it can bring about a profound sense of clarity and calm in our lives.
"Detachment is not actually separating yourself from anything, but encompassing a unity to everything. When everything is on the same level and equal then nothing gets anundue proportion of attention. It's actually a very centered state of awareness and peace. "
Bashar
The Roots of Non-Attachment
In order to understand Non-Attachment we must first understand Attachment. Attachment patterns are usually established in childhood and influence all aspects of our adult lives:
Career and work
Friendships and Relationships
Finances and Investments
Homes and Environments
Plans and Goals
As humans, we are wired to form attachments to places, people and possessions for our security and safety and survival. Unfortunately over time these attachments only create suffering in our lives, leading to deep dissatisfaction and disappointment when our desires and expectations aren't met.
Our attachment to a particular outcome tends to originate in our ego-mind, where we establish our sense of identity and goals for the future. Then we take action based what we’ve already witnessed or experienced in this life through work, relationships, health etc
The problem with this approach is that everything is temporary. Once a goal or outcome is achieved, you will inevitably fall back to the same level of happiness or fulfillment as before. Alternatively, as we inevitably age and evolve, the outcome or goal we original set forth may no longer even seem desirable.
"Sometimes you have to call off the search in order to find everything you've been searching for."
Steven Bartlett
Impermanence is a fundamental part of life, and nature. There is an inevitability to discomfort, death, decay. Once we can recognize and accept the temporary, transitory nature of ALL things, we achieve a deeper sense of peace and acceptance. This simple shift can be life-changing. This is the power of detachment.
Attachment involves giving away your power to external forces and circumstances, preventing you from realizing that your experience is a projection of your consciousness. Signs of attachment include feeling panic or a need to control the process, which can be overcome by reminding yourself of the illusion of time and the certainty of manifestation.
"When you go about attaching your happiness, your existence, and meaning too deeply to your work, your relationships, or anything else for that matter, you put yourself at risk."
Shreya Dalela
Why is the Practice of Detachment Important?
According to ancient Buddhist teachings, Detachment can help you achieve personal freedom, or Nirvana. Non-attachment is a very important skill and one of. the highest forms of wisdom, keeping you centered and saves you from unnecessary pain.
Attachment begins in the Ego, which operates from Fear. Fortunately for us, FEAR is simply 'False Expectations Appearing Real'. Our fears are imaginary and can be managed once they're exposed and confronted.
When we become too attached to comfort (avoidance of fear), we have an unwillingness to see or accept the possibility of failure or see flaws or holes in our "best laid plans". When an attachment inevitably fails us, this can lead to feelings of deep insecurity and even a loss of identity. There can be real implications on our self-esteem and happiness.
"Think of release in terms of simply letting something go. There is nothing that you have to learn; there's nothing that you have to overcome. It is just an old, outdated program that you are hitting the delete key on."
9D Pleiadian Collective
There are profound psychological benefits to detachment, namely inner peace, emotional freedom and mental tranquility. Detachment can help us
Alleviate depression (worrying about past) and anxiety (worrying about future) by letting go of all worries, across all timelines
enhance emotional stability and resilience by neutralizing, balancing and regulating reactions in the face of challenges or burnout from stress
Cope with setbacks
Adapt to changing circumstances
Find fulfillment in the process rather than solely fixating on the end result
Transcend self-centered thoughts and cultivate a more expansive and compassionate perspective
Build healthier and more authentic connections with others.
Create a mindset that supports clarity and focus
Maintain a sense of openness and flexibility amidst the unexpected
Cultivate a sense of trust in the universe or higher power.
Appreciate what you currently have and find joy and gratitude in the present circumstances
"In many ways, one can say that identifying yourself too closely with things like your house, car, career, or relationship can lead to feelings of loss of your identity when you lose them."
Frank Pullia
Releasing "Destination Mindset"
The term "destination mindset" typically refers to a state of mind or perspective where one is focused and fixated on reaching an end result or specific goal or destination. It is essentially "Tunnel Vision" about acquiring something, which looks like
Being highly goal-oriented and driven
Having strong desire for achievement or success in a particular area of life
Prioritizing actions and decisions based on the ultimate goal they want to attain
While destination mindset and detachment may appear to be contradictory at first, they can actually complement each other. It's possible to maintain a destination mindset while practicing detachment. This means setting clear goals and working towards them with determination, but also accepting that, more often than not, outcomes may not match your expectations.
.
The irony of Destination Mindset is that it keeps us stuck where we are rather than letting us move forward to where we're meant to.
“Don’t attach yourself to a person, place, or organization. Attach yourself to a mission, a calling, or a purpose. That’s how you keep your power and your peace.”
Elon Musk
Fate is the Driver. We are merely the Passenger.
The vehicle is traveling to the same final destination energetically, but only the Driver knows the way.
The Passenger may have suspicions or hopes but really they're blindfolded half the time.
We're not supposed to see the details of the journey ahead. We're just supposed to trust the route and direction, even when it feels wrong, uncomfortable or illogical.
You'll still end up the same place, with a beautiful story and beautiful ending, it just won't be on your terms.
By cultivating a healthy balance between a destination mindset and detachment, we can maintain emotional well-being and flexibility in the face of uncertainties or unexpected outcomes.
Are you ready to be the best co-pilot on this raodtrip of life? Then embrace mindset of the Passenger instead of the Driver.
"This is where all of our power resides... in that place of non-resistance, where one is in the flow of life rather than pushing against. True freedom and joy is being in the moment and experiencing total allowing.
Abraham Hicks
Detachment & Manifestation
Spiritual law tells us that you can have anything your heart desires. However this is only possible through the skill of detachment.
If your happiness depends on a certain outcome or thing then that is a chain that binds you, keeps you stuck, and you will automatically be operating on a lower frequency.
Recognize that every there are beginnings and endings, respecting the endless flow of change but also periods of stagnation that are meant to heal and rest.
Detaching from the outcome is essential when manifesting your desires, as an attachment can lead to fear, doubt, and a sense of incompleteness.
"Detachment means to have neither regrets for the past nor fears for the future; to let life take its course without attempting to interfere with its movement and change, neither trying to prolong the stay of something pleasant nor to hasten the departure of things unpleasant. To do this is to move in time with life, to be in perfect accord with its changing music, and this is called Enlightenment."
Alan Watts
People who are attached to their outcomes say things like, “I’ll be happy when I manifest _________,” instead of allowing themselves to experience happiness as a core state of being. .
Their goal has not yet been achieved, so they focus on who/what they are not, instead of on who they are. As. a result they are unconsciously vibrating from a low-frequency state of lack, which only perpetuates their reality.
The key is to think of an outcome - may it be money, our dream job, or our perfect partner- as simply the foundation for our next level of growth, not an end-point to our joy.
The vision of your dream life came from your Higher Self. It is showing you an image of what your life can be like (actually, what your life already is, because time does not exist,) The feeling behind that vision is possible, but the way you will get there is not for you to know. Everything you experience has been placed in your path for a reason.
The paradox of Detachment: The more we let go, the more we receive.
Because detachment is good for our overall well-being, our core frequency, it is also beneficial in our manifestation process. The practice of detachment creates SPACE in our lives and this space increases our frequency, and therefor our receptivity. Here's why:
Holding an intention with too much conviction, clinging too tightly to a specific outcome can create resistance or desperation which hinders the manifestation process. Detachment allows you to align you with Source energy - the flow of universal possibilities and opportunity.
When you surrender your own control and have faith in the higher forces at play, you're able let go of doubts, fears, and anxieties, and know that what is meant for you will come in due course. This relaxed state of being allows you to attract and manifest with greater ease.
With this energetic release you're able to see your intentions more clearly and understand your level of alignment and inner truth. This distance allows you to make necessary adjustments or refinements to your intentions with a clear mind and heart.
Lastly, because detachment encourages you to focus on the present moment with gratitude rather than constantly yearning for the future, we are increasing our aura with positive loving energy, not anxious, dissatisfied energy. By practicing detachment in the manifestation process, you create an environment that is conducive to the flow of positive energy, alignment, and the realization of your intentions.
I release all unhealthy attachments, entanglements, expectations, or pressure associated with this goal.
ALIGNED ACTION: Begin by drawing yourself as a ‘matchstick man,’ in a child-like drawing. Below this drawing, write your name. Next to this figure, draw a rectangle in which you write the situation or material concern you want to address. Draw a circle of light around each (like a child’s sun). These circles will symbolize that you wish the best for you and the best to resolve the situation. Then, draw a larger circle of light that encompasses the first two, symbolizing that you wish the best resolution for everything. Draw out the representation of your attachments, expectations and pressure connected to a goal, outcome or situation. Include any cords, contracts, or vows from past lives, coming from you or towards you.
With a pair a scissors, cut the paper in half, separating the two drawings. Say out loud (or in your mind): “There, it is done!” And that’s it! It’s as simple as that. Afterwards you do whatever you want with the papers, it doesn’t matter. At this point, the “work” has already been done. You have “tricked” the ego/subconscious mind to cut off unhealthy or unhelpful attachments.
Detachment creates magnetism.
Finding Flow & Acceptance
Non-resistance is the practice of accepting and allowing things to unfold without opposition. It means relinquishing the urge to control or force a situation, or turn against unwanted experiences that create inner turmoil. Instead, it encourages a mindset of flow, acceptance, and inner peace.
Non-resistance is an approach to external circumstances, while detachment is more about one's inner state and relationship with thoughts and desires. Non-resistance helps in accepting and surrendering to the present moment, while detachment assists in maintaining a sense of balance and perspective, allowing individuals to observe their reactions and attachments without being ruled by them.
Together, non-resistance and detachment can contribute to our personal growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of oneself and the world. They can help individuals navigate through life's ups and downs with greater wisdom, ease and acceptance.
Don't force situations in your life, trust they will emerge. Embrace the certainty of uncertainty and discomfort.
Acceptance is the very first step in Shadow Integration.
Acceptance: It's raining.
Resistance: It's raining and I don't like the rain. I wish it wasn't happening. My day, and my whole life, would be better without rain. Why does this always happen to me?
Wants vs Needs
Mastering the distinction between genuine needs and mere wants is the foundation for an enriched life. This line between need and want is razor-thin but critically significant when it comes to detachment.
When we perceive something as a need, it usually signals an attachment or unhealthy reliance and thus a deeper emotional void. Some indicators of this:
Seeking constant external validation
Relying on material goods for joy
An overwhelming dread of loss
Feeling unwhole without certain accomplishments
Replacing unaddressed emotional gaps with external fillers
Being trapped in this cycle can lead to never-ending "needs" or desires, accompanied by the dread of losing them, and eventually a slow erosion of our emotional and mental resilience.
Ego Dependency vs Soul Desire, and the corresponding deeper result/outcomes.
Approval vs Confidence --> Defining Self
Control vs Purpose --> Exploring Life
Perfection vs Growth ---> Embracing Authenticity
Rightness vs Learning --> Staying Openminded
People-Pleasing vs Boundaries --> Respecting Self
External Rewads vs Intrinsic Motivation --> Finding Passion
Busyness vs Embracing Stillness --> Cultivating Calm
Breaking free from the chains of our Needs requires self-reflection and redirecting our energy inwards towards self-compassion, acceptance, and continuous growth.
Remember that detachment should not be confused with apathy or a lack of caring.
A feeling of "loose indifference" can contribute to inner peace and calm by reducing stress and emotional reactivity, fostering non-attachment, freeing you from judgment, and enabling you to focus on the present moment. It doesn't mean you stop caring about important values, relationships, or goals.
It's about having a measured response to life's challenges, finding a balance between actively pursuing your desires and surrendering the need for control. This takes practice and mindfulness.
"The perfect man employs his mind as a mirror; it grasps nothing; it refuses nothing; it receives, but does not keep."
Chung-Tzu
Practical Techniques to Cultivate Detachment
How do you let go of intended outcomes, all the invested dreams and desires that you want so badly that you're willing to sacrifice for?
There are several practices of detachment or DE-CENTRALIZATION that we can use depending on the type of attachment you're experiencing.
Relationships
Detachment in relationships entails
setting boundaries for your time to protect your own energy, opinions and needs
not seeking validation from partners to feel attractive or desired
accepting and allowing others to be exactly who they are.
not taking things personally
understanding your value and worth as an individual
being intentionally single or unpartnered
only seeking interdependent relationships
Material Possessions & Money
Detachment from money, goods and resources involves
questioning the importance of owning things for the sake of ownership or status
being aware of the influence of ego, fear and greed.
focusing on abundance in other forms - nature, health, art
practicing poverty and frugality
“Once we internalize this notion of not being able to own anything, ironically it frees us to have anything that we choose, without being attached to owning or possessing it… A life of abundance does not mean a life of accumulating, but instead developing a spiritual sense of awe at the 'limitlessness' of it all.”
Dr. Wayne Dyer
Food
Detachment from food involves
eliminating dependencies on food for stress, boredom, or other emotional issues.
practicing mindful eating rather than eating impulsively or unconsciously.
reducing cravings for specific foods
regaining control over food choices and timing of meals
intentionally abstaining from food through rituals of fasting
Work
Detachment from work means
not defining personal worth solely based on career achievements or performance
finding a sense of completeness and fulfillment outside of work.
having an equal balance of time spent on work and play, office and home
not seeking validation from coworkers or supervisors
"Detachment does not mean you own nothing. It means nothing owns you."
Jay Shetty
Time
Detachment from the sense of time involves
focusing on the present moment
releasing the need to control the future
accepting and letting go of negative experiences, both perceived or real
releasing regrets about the past and worries about the future
The Heart
Detaching from one's own emotions involves
separating self from emotions as outside forces
observing emotions without judgement
feeling connected and disconnected at the same time
allow yourself to be who you are and feel what you do
“A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.”
Lao Tzu
The Mind
Detachment from one's own thoughts involves
observing thoughts without being consumed by them,
letting your thoughts come and go as outside forces
realizing that thoughts are not the ultimate truth
be open to all the ideas, possibilities and opportunities that exist and
Mastering awareness of our thoughts is a key step in detachment. By observing our thoughts rather than identifying with them, we can detach from them.
Mindfulness through meditation is perhaps the most powerful tool for cultivating detachment, rewiring our patterns and achieving a state of inner calm and peace. We can also incorporate mindfulness into our daily activities, such as eating, walking, and socializing. Fully immersing ourselves in the present moment of life's simple pleasures can allow us to experience joy, gratitude, and a deeper appreciation.
Ultimately detachment and decentralization is about finding freedom and joy in what matters more - pure beingness and self sovereignty.
No need to water a dead flower. Experience what is and then when it's over let it go. You learned your lesson from this person or experience. If it's meant for you it will come to you effortlessly and easily. Be in the flow and trust the journey of your life!
Other detachment tips and practices:
Don't Take Life Too Seriously. This is all a game! Consider that this life you see around you is simply a Simulation. Think of your best-case scenario and the fun of it. Think of you worst-case scenario and remind yourself that if you ever got to that point, you'd still be ok because you will always have yourself. Stop attaching meaning to situations and events. Recognize that we are the ones making them good or bad before knowing the actual truth.
Stay Open. Have a plan while remaining flexible. Stop looking for the "best" decision or outcome, as that actually closes your mind and creates bias from your previous experience. Be open to all of the unlimited possibilities and opportunities that are not even in your consciousness yet
Find Acceptance. Find contentment in exactly what is - not what was, what could be or what should be. Accept the present moment exactly as it is, without trying to change or control it. Surrender to the flow of life, all of its struggles, challenges and frustrations. Everything has happened the way it has for the purpose of your own healing and growth.
Get Lost in the Flow. Channel a child-like feeling of freedom, playfulness and fun to naturally channel your best self and peak performance. Thinking lightly, casually about something means it is more likely to flow in. Once we can shift from outcome-oriented thinking to process-oriented thinking, we give up the need for specific results and instead find joy and fulfillment in the journey itself.
Embody Stillness. When you are overwhelmed by desperation or frustration, just pause. Breathe deeply and stop doing. Become a neutral observer of your life. When we let go of our ego’s wants, and listen to the Universe, we allow things to fall back into alignment. Ask your Higher Self for the lesson you are supposed to learn from your current state.
Trust the Divine. Faith plays a crucial role in detachment, transforming doubt and fear into a deep sense of knowing and certainty. Give up your full control to your higher self as if you are the passenger, not the driver of your life. Your spirit guides can see more than you can and will deliver everything in the right time, and the right way.
Ground in Gratitude. Practice choosing positive emotions and feelings daily. Create a daily practice and reminder to reinforce detachment and cultivate gratitude.
Set Strong Boundaries. Practice asking your spirit team to help cut cords that tie you to people, places or things, emotions, beliefs. When attachments are released you have full gained your power back. Get in the habit of severing ties with anyone or anything that drains your energy, lowers vibration, or causes any harm or chaos to your life. These people and situations are directly blocking your flow of blessings. It takes so much strength to walk away but it is the only way to make room for new, better, abundant.
"Remain in the world, act in the world, do whatsoever is needful, and yet remain transcendental, aloof, detached, a lotus flower in the pond.”
Osho
Affirmations for Detachment
Affirmations play a crucial role in cultivating a detachment mindset. They are powerful statements that help reprogram your subconscious mind, shift your beliefs, and reinforce positive thinking patterns. When used consistently, affirmations can support you in letting go of attachment to outcomes, releasing control, and embracing a sense of surrender and trust in the process of life.
Here are some examples of affirmations that can aid in developing a detachment mindset:
I remove all attachment to outcomes and trust in the divine plan unfolding in my life.
I surrender my need for control and allow life to flow naturally.
I release the past and embrace the present moment fully.
I detach from the opinions and expectations of others and honor my own truth.
I let go of worry and embrace a state of peace and calm.
I have faith that everything is working out for my highest good.
I undo all resistance and welcome the opportunities and lessons that come my way.
I trust in the wisdom of the universe and surrender to its guidance.
I am open to receiving blessings and abundance in unexpected ways.
I am complete within myself and do not rely on external circumstances for fulfillment.
I choose to experience what I desire and believe it is already manifesting in the spiritual plane.
I am in control when I have no need to control. Detachment allows me to be in control.
I see beyond physical appearances and perceive the unseen possibilities.
I am one with Universal Mind, and my thoughts and imagination have creative power.
"Detachment is not that you own nothing. Detachment is that nothing owns you."
James Sebastiano
Consistency and belief in the affirmations are key to their effectiveness in cultivating a detachment mindset.
As such, remember to
Choose affirmations that resonate with you personally and feel authentic..
Personalize these affirmations to align with your specific intentions and beliefs.
Repeat them regularly with conviction and faith, preferably in a relaxed state or as part of a daily mindfulness or meditation practice
Allow the affirmations to reinforce your detachment mindset and support the manifestation of your desires.
Surround me with love and light.
Protect me with all your might.
Detach me from this vibrational chord.
Harmonize and heal the energy. Balance restored.
Raise the vibration to the highest and best.
Free me from all the rest.
Wrapping It All Up
The Laws of Detachment
Allow others to be who they are.
Allow yourself to be who you are.
Don't force situations or solutions.
Uncertainty is a certainty. Embrace it.
Detaching from outcome is one of the hardest, biggest lessons to learn. Because its about parting with a version of our self, and a vision of our life, that we once held close.
We dream and we scheme, we set our intentions and give it our all but then, after many months or years of seeking, striving, waiting, wondering we finally… give up. We start to see that the Universe had other plans for us all along.
BETTER plans. Ones that never seem better until they’re actually given to you.
We only surrender to the less desirable Plan B when we have no other choice.
What's meant for you will feel peaceful, natural, calm, clear, connected. What's not meant for you will feel forced, chaotic confusing.
If you find yourself with a slow or stagnant manifestation, then go inward to Loosen your grip and Ground in the vibration of pure Neutrality. Of calm confidence, Of Gratitude.
Remember that you’re in the process of receiving the BETTER version of what you previously asked for. And because the best things take time, its taking the long way to get to you.
The best part of Detachment is that it makes room for the things that are actually meant for us.
We don’t always get what we want for our happiness, we get what we need for the highest good of all.
If you don't care if it manifests, it will. If you care too much, it won't.
Abraham Hicks
The simplest act is the hardest: Let it go. Let it be. Trust THE plan (which is - hard truth: so rarely the same as YOUR plan).
Your life is probably never going to be your (ego’s) version of perfect, but trust me- it will be, and currently is, way better than that. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
You've put in the work, now what? How.do you know when you have achieved a state of detachment?
There is no more aching or yearning for what you feel is missing.
You feel peace and calm about what is, and what's to come
Your heart is open to whatever comes
You trust and surrender to higher powers because you feel safe and protected by them
You feel divinely guided to take leaps of faith towards your joy
It is not impermanence that makes us suffer.
What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.
We need to learn to appreciate the value of impermanence.
If we are aware of impermanence, we will take good care of ourselves.
When we know that the person we love is impermanent, we will cherish our beloved all the more.
Impermanence teaches us to respect & value every moment & all the precious things around us and inside of us.
When we practice mindfulness of impermanence, we become fresher & more loving.
Thich Nhat Hanh
The art of detachment is not about...
dissociation
apathy
passivity
forgetting
ignoring
giving up
Instead, it involves
taking inspired action while trusting in the manifestation process and leaving the "how" to the Universal Mind.
liberating ourselves from the burdens of the human mind, and simply allowing life to unfold naturally.
resting, and recieving
As we let go of our attachments, desires, and expectations, we create space for true inner health and happiness.
Unconditional mental peace should be the only quest in your life, and practicing detachment can help us achieve inner peace despite the fast-paced and chaotic world around us. May the journey of detachment guide you toward a life of tranquility and harmony, freedom and fulfillment.
Do without doing and all gets done.
Zen Koan
Erin is a certified feng shui consultant, energy healer, wellness coach and holistic growth strategist.
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