Grow Your Own Way: The Sacred Magic of Aging Gracefully & Walking Your Own Divine Path at Your Own Divine Pace

⁠“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”

Anais Nin

Life doesn’t move in straight lines. It loops, spirals, and doubles back on itself. Sometimes it carries us forward, sometimes it slows us down. Even the stumbles and pauses—the moments that feel like breaking points—are part of the choreography. To live is to sway with the rhythm of uncertainty, to find grace in mistakes, to trust that even the missteps have their own hidden purpose.

In Chinese philosophy, this rhythm is called the Tao—the way of life’s unfolding. Like the seasons, like the waxing and waning of the moon, aging is not a fall from grace but a continuation of the dance. Each season has its own beauty, its own medicine. In wu wei (“effortless action”), we act in alignment and harmony with the natural flow of life, trusting in “divine timing”—the right action at the right moment, nothing too early, nothing too late.

Taoist philosophy reminds us that life moves in cycles, not in a straight line. Growth is not about climbing endlessly upward, but about spiraling inward and outward—shedding what no longer serves, returning to what is essential, and discovering new depths of wisdom in each stage of life.

Time is a perpectual constant upheld by biology, reinforced by conditioning, and programmed by society.The past, present, and future exist simultaneously and your mind is the portal that can slip past the veil. Time is Yours to work with, not to be ruled by. Reality is responsive and repgroammable through intention, emotion and focus.

Time From a Spiritual Lens

In Buddhism, time is seen as cyclical, tied to samsara (the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth). Existence moves through endless cycles until enlightenment (nirvana) breaks the cycle.

The Buddha emphasized impermanence - everything is constantly changing, moment to moment. Past and future are mental constructs. The only reality we truly experience is the present moment.

In contrast, Taoism sees time as an unfolding of natural rhythms: the seasons, the cycles of Yin and Yang, the transformations of the Five Elements. Time is not a straight road but a spiral dance of growth, decay, death, and renewal. And we can even cultivate a sense of "timelessness" in the body through conscious movement and meditation.

Some cultures even believe there is only past time and future time and the space between (the present) can be informed by both.

"The thing that I like most about time is that it's not real. It's all in the head. Sure, it's useful when you want to meet someone in a specific place to have tea or coffee, but that's all it is-- a trick. Theres so such thing as the past- it exists only in the memory. There's no such thing as the future - it exists only in our imagination. If our watches were truly accurate the only thing they would ever say is NOW."

Eddie Vedder

Time itself may even be an illusion created by thought. What exists is only this breath, this step, this now.

"No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.”

Zen proverb

Everyone will bloom when it is their time. Forcing growth too early or trying to hold it back is like trying to make fruit ripen or stop a flowering from blooming—it only causes harm.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

Laozi

Your Path, Your Pace

Start being present with where you are, without grasping for the next stage. Every step of your path is exactly where it belongs. Stop comparing yourselves to others when the path to enlightenment is completely individual and unique for each person. Trust your own rhythm, and don't measure yourself against someone else's journey.

Lastly remember, Life is not a sprint, but a series of brave, unsteady, beautifully imperfect baby steps. 

"I finally found my rhythm when I realized that even the steps backwards were part of the dance."

Melody Godfred

"It is better to live your own dharma imperfectly than someone elses perfectly."

Bhagavad Gita

Aging as Remembering

We’ve been taught in Western culture to fear aging, to hide it, to wage war against it. Wrinkles are treated like failures, silver hair like a loss of worth. Youth is idolized as the only true currency of beauty and desire. But this view is not universal—it is cultural conditioning.

What if aging is not about losing beauty, but about remembering who we really are?

The lines around our eyes are not mistakes. They are rivers carved by laughter, tears, and the moments that cracked us open and demanded deeper love. The softening of our skin is not betrayal but a gift—a body that has learned to hold more tenderness, more truth.

The real challenge in life is learning to grow in two directions at once, like a tree deepening our roots while expanding our branches. We have to return to our childhood wonder, embodying curiosity, joy and openness while also fully stepping into adulthood with maturity, steadiness, clarity.

As our skin loosens, so do we. We loosen the masks, the striving, the need to prove ourselves. We relax into the person we have always been becoming. We are invited to step into a new kind of radiance and inner freedom that can never be bottled or bought.

The Forgotten Archetype

Across ancient cultures, the elder woman—the Crone—was revered as a living embodiment of wisdom. Silver hair was seen as moonlight woven into the body, wrinkles as rivers carved by time, courage, and love.

But in modern culture, the Crone has been silenced. hidden, dismissed, or even ridiculed—her power buried beneath a culture that worships speed, productivity, and perpetual youth.

We see the Maiden everywhere, endlessly idolized in beauty products and media. We see the Mother, celebrated in limited ways through family and religion. But the Crone is often overlooked.

Yet spiritually, the Crone is essential. She is the guide, the storyteller, the keeper of medicine, the one who has walked through fire and returned carrying truth. She teaches us to trust the inward pull of life, to rest in the radiance that no longer comes from gloss or perfection, but from within.

The Crone mirrors the Water element in winter—a time of stillness, wisdom, and deep roots.

“To be a crone comes from having lived long enough to be deeply rooted in wholehearted involvements, of living a personally meaningful life, however unique, feminist, or traditional it may appear to others. It has to do with knowing who we are inside and believing that what we are doing is a true reflection or expression of our genuine self.”

Jean Shinoda Bolen

Healing is not linear, nor is time. In life we walk in circles or spirals, returning to old ground with new perspectives. The past isnt behind you- instead it coils inside your body. That's why some years you feel more nostalgic for certain ages.

Returning to the Spiral

In Chinese culture, ancestors are honored because they carried wisdom forward into the next generations. Aging, then, is not a personal failure but a communal inheritance. Each wrinkle, each season, each transition adds to the story written on our skin—a story of becoming.

We live in a society that fears the spiral of life and longs instead for a straight line of endless growth. But if we can return to the spiral, we can reclaim the power of aging as initiation. Thus perimenopause becomes a doorway, menopause a rebirth, elderhood a crowning.

Aging is an act of rebellion in a world that worships eternal youth. It's a slick sales trick invented by companies that make mountains of money and status on wanting us to disapear, shrink, apologize for becoming ourselves. We can rebel by standing in the mirror, touching the lines, the softness, the stories, the battles fought and whispering: Thank you. And I love you.

In the spiral of life, menopause is not actually an ending, but a beginning. Known in Traditional Chinese Medicine as the Second Spring, it is a rebirth where vital energy shifts from fertility to creativity, from outward focus to inner nourishment. Hot flashes, emotional changes, and fatigue are not punishments—they are signs of the body recalibrating into a new Yin-Yang balance.

With nourishing life practices like hydrating foods, restorative rest, and gentle movement, this transition to the Crone stage of life becomes a season of renewal, not decline.

Remember to meditate on death. Knowing the uncomfortable truth that we will die helps us live more fully now with greater presence, courage, compassion and gratitude.

The Cycle of Life

Life and death are part of one continuous rhythm and cycle. Death is not an enemy, not a failure or a punishment, but a return to the Source, like a wave absorbing back into the ocean. Don't resist death but instead try to embrace it as natural process, the inevitable inhale and exhale of life.

Death is the ultimate reminder of impermanence, but not something to fear. It is simply the continuation of change.

Every single thing in this world is meant to arise and eventually pass away. Consciousness doesn’t “end” but flows into new forms, conditioned by karma. Death is simply a doorway to another phase of existence, not a final destination.

Every season has it's purpose. Winter is for stillness and gestation, spring for blooming, summer for flourishing, autumn for letting go. Each stage is sacred, and rushing disrupts harmony.

‘Sacred wise woman, take off your veil! You are holy, You are here, You are the voice we need, Now is your time to guide.’

Anabel Vizcarra

Do not mourn me. Don't drown me in black cloth and quiet whispers,

Laugh loud, drink deep. Tell the stories that made me live.

Remember the bad jokes, the nights that stretched into dawn, the times we swore we'd never forget.

I was here, a life well lived.

I want something more than tears.

So raise a glass, dance a little,

let the wind take my name...

I'll be listening.

Do not mourn me,

Celebrate me.

James Mooney

Honoring the Spiral

Let us honor the spiral of life. Let us honor the sacred act of aging—not as loss, but as life’s greatest remembering, that it is a beautiful blessing.

Aging is not decline—it is initiation. It is the spiral returning, the rhythm deepening, the fire of authenticity finally rising to the surface. To age with grace is to rebel against a world that would rather keep us small, silent, and striving for a youth that was never meant to last.

But the truth is, every line is a story, every season is a lesson, every so-called step backward is still part of the dance. Time is not our enemy; it is our teacher. And as we loosen the masks and step into our sacred maturity, we discover what the wise ones before us have always known: we are not becoming less—we are becoming more.

"I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: ’ I’m not screwing around. It’s time .." All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt , has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen ‘’

Brené Brown

"I was told that I should be afraid of becoming old-- invisible, impercetible. But how can an avalache or a mountain at the peak of her strength, at the loudest of her voice, at the highest of her summit, be invisible?"

Diliana Stoyanova

To every woman stepping into her sacred maturity:

May you see yourself as the temple you are.

May you walk with pride in the stories your body carries.

May you know that aging is not the end of beauty, it is its deepest unfolding.

Because the truth is...

You are not becoming less.

You are becoming more.

Margo Awanta

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Erin is a certified feng shui consultant, energy healer, wellness coach and holistic growth strategist.

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