Signaling Safety Within: Rewiring The Nervous System Through Soft Living & Slow Working

“When we feel safe, we can access the higher functions of our brain, connect with others, and heal. Safety is the treatment.”

Dr. Stephen Porges

We are all prone to the negative effects of stress, but highly sensitive people (HSPs) are particularly susceptible to it.

When the body senses danger it diverts energy to pure survival. Fight-or-flight kicks in, stress hormones spike, and physical repair takes a back seat. In this state, You're always bracing for impact, waiting for the next shoe to drop. Over time, this “always on” mode feeds chronic inflammation and chronic illness.

In this post I'll share how to heal the body and mind through mindfulness, softness and slowness.

“The body keeps the score… restoring a sense of physical safety is the first step in healing trauma.”

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

Systems Under Threat

The hidden truth: your body is accumulating constant stress from sources you're not even aware of. Invisible or super-subtle stressors and toxins may be keeping your system locked in survival mode or "always on": in endless chemical spikes and crashes:

• Mental stress- urgent deadlines, constant notifications, multi-tasking, doomscrolling, mindless scrolling

• Emotional stress- suppressing emotions, people pleasing, group chat conversations

• Environmental stress - artificial light, ambient artificial noise, mold, non-native EMFs, synthetic chemicals, pollutants, pesticides, heavy metals,

• Physical/Oxidative stress - poor nutrition, poor hydration, poor methylation, poor nutrient absorption, insulin resistance, sedentary lifestyle, histamine, alcohol, medication, excess hormones, gut dysbiosis

You may think there's no harm in these habits but your nervous system, wired in ancient ways, has other opinions and preferences.

When the total stress load exceeds your body's ability to process and adapt, it shows up as

• disrupted sleep

• digestive upset

• mood swings

• weight gain

• muscle loss

• anxiety and depression

• cravings and crashes

• brain fog

• chronic plain

• poor immunity

• itchy or dry skin

• hormonal imbalance

• irregular periods

• crushing fatigue

Regulating your nervous system is one of the most important (and overlooked) foundations of hormone health.

Chronic stress doesn’t just make you feel wired and tired. It quietly rewires your body and ages you fast.These all build up and accumulate over time to make the body unable to do it's job correctly- to rebuild, repair, restore, relax.

Remember, You might not feel “stressed,” but your body knows the truth. Stress chemicals can literally rewire your brain to expect stress, even when nothing’s wrong.

In contrast, Safety changes everything. When the nervous system senses safety...

• digestion slow

• stress hormones regulate

• muscles soften

• breath deepens

• healing begins

When you approach life slowly the results are steady and smooth. When you rush through it quickly, the results can be messy and harmful.

The Science of Stress

When you feel stressed, your adrenal glands release cortisol, a steroid hormone that helps mobilize energy, sharpen focus, and modulate immunity. It’s essential for survival—but once the stressor is gone, your body needs to clear that cortisol so you can return to balance. Cortisol is mainly metabolized in the liver and kidneys, which convert it into inactive compounds that are excreted in urine.

Cortisol is meant to rise quickly to handle a challenge and then taper off within a few hours. Continuous, chronic stress keeps cortisol production high. Similarly anything that disrupts the liver, kidneys, or your natural stress response—can keep levels elevated. A faster metabolism speeds clearance so that. is why consistent rest, balanced nutrition, and stress-management practices are key to long-term health.

Cortisol isn’t the enemy—it’s actualy essential for survival. But when it becomes elevated too often, for too long, it becomes a silent killer to your metabolism, memory, mood, muscle, hormones, and brain function.

"Being soft doesn’t mean you stopped striving. It means you stopped self-abandoning."

Amber Long

Sensitive Systems

If you have genetic mutations like MTHFR, HNMT, MAO or COMT, you’re sadly even more vulnerable to stress chemicals and possess an overall low tolerance or resilience to stress. Your body literally can’t detox toxins, cortisol and other hormones efficiently, which means they hang around longer, doing more damage.

Being a poor methylator (detoxer) means we are more prone to inflammatory issues, chemical sensitivities, lymph issues, histamine intolerance, thyroid and hormonal imbalances. This can make life harder but it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just means your body might need more mindful support. The more you understand your detox and regulation pathways, the better you can work with your body.

You’re not allergic to life. You’re simply overloaded with chemical and hormonal stressors, histamines and toxins. They've built up in your body to make you more reactive and sensitive to everyday life.

The Body Keeps the Score

You can't think, rationalize or solve your way out of survival mode. The only way out of an overstressed nervous system is through your body: signaling safety to your vague nerve so you. can rewire the loop.

Logic goes offline when cortisol is high. You need to tell the body it's safe by using it instead of your mind.

Where Trauma Is Stored in the Body:

• Cells: Trauma can affect cellular function through stress hormones like cortisol, which influence cellular metabolism and inflammatory responses. Epigenetic changes may also occur, altering gene expression related to stress and healing.

• Tissues: Connective tissues, including fascia, muscles, and ligaments, often hold chronic tension or tightness as a result of trauma. This tension can restrict movement and contribute to physical discomfort.

• Organs: Organs can be impacted by trauma through autonomic nervous system dysregulation. For example, trauma may cause digestive issues (gut), heart palpitations (heart), or respiratory difficulties (lungs), reflecting stored stress.

• Nervous System: The autonomic nervous system (ANS), particularly the sympathetic (fight/flight) and parasympathetic (rest/digest) branches, plays a key role. Trauma can cause the ANS to become stuck in a hyper- or hypo-aroused state, leading to persistent physical and emotional symptoms.

Small steps and grounding practices can make a big difference in how you get through the hard days when you feel overwhelmed, anxious, insecure, or helpless.

Everyday Signals of Safety

Chronically high cortisol can wreak havoc on your mental AND physical health.

To naturally regulate hormones and reduce elevated cortisol levels, several lifestyle approaches can help lower stress, support adrenal health, and promote overall balance within. You can signal safety to the body and mind with simple daily cues and micro-rituals that tell your system its ok to fully release tension and let its guard down, moving from a state of "fight or flight" and into a state of "rest and digest."

Sometimes the simplest tools are the most powerful. These are quick, easy, and backed by science (and your body’s innate wisdom). Let's fill our toolboxes with strategies for success:

Somatic exercises focus on increasing bodily awareness, releasing tension, and restoring nervous system balance.

Food & Water 

• Consistent, clean nutritious meals (not processed foods or artificial ingredients,)

• Slow, mindful eating (not rushing or skipping meals)

• Deep, true hydration (not caffeine or alcohol)

• Healthy fats, anti-oxidant, anti-inflammatory, whole grains, fiber, cruciferous & sulfer organic veggies and lean proteins to stabilize blood sugar and support waste and hormone elimination

• Slow, deep breaths before meals

• Filtered water with electrolytes and trace minerals

• High-quality, food-based supplements with good bioavailability: vitamin D, vitamin C, , zinc, and magnesium, and methylated forms of B vitamins

• Adaptogenic and nootropic herbs, amino acids, etc: ashwagandha, rhodiola rosea, tulsi/holy basil, kava, passionflower, ginseng, l-theanine, omega 3s, hops

  
  

Environment & Sensation

• Natural daylight

• Soft evening light

• Gentle music or silence.

• Pleasant, natural scents: lavender

• Warm, soft clothing and blankets

• Air purifying plants or air filters

• Ice or cold water over face, chest, neck or wrists

• Get outside, especially for sunrises and sunsets

• Showering in the dark

• Cold therapy

• Limit exposure to endocrine disruptors (e.g., BPA, phthalates) with clean beauty and cleaning products

When we experience stress or trauma, our body holds that tension in the sensitive muscle tissue. Trauma-informed yoga can gently support release and healing of the psoas , or the “muscle of the soul,” to tell our body we are safe again.

Movement 

• Yoga

• Tai Chi

• Qi Gong

• Walking

• Stretching (especially the psoas muscle)

• Swaying

• Swimming

• Cycling

• Sweating

• Shaking/Bouncing

• Strength Training

• Deliberate yawning

• Legs up wall

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation

• Rocking

• Trembling

• Wall-sit/isometric hold

• Lateral eye movements

  
  

“Furthermore, as muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone, it could be argued that those who sit quietly and do nothing are making one of the best possible contributions to a world in turmoil.”

Alan Watts

Mindfulness

• Grounding sit or stand

• Body scanning

• Kind and loving self-talk

• Gratitude practice

• EFT/tapping

• Tracking bodliy sensations

• Meditation and visualization

• Progressive muscle relaxation

• Naming and allowing feelings

• Reframes to make the ordinary, extraordinary

• Be ok with not needing to find the answer urgently

  
  

Work

• Delegate tasks

• Decline overwork

• Set boundaries

• Take frequent breaks

• Slow, deep breaths before meetings

• Implement blue light blockers/Red light settings on tech

Affirm: I am calm, grounded, relaxed, resilient and in control of what I can be. Tension and stress leave my body with every breath. Harmony and balance is my natural baseline.

Life

• Slow, "lazy" mornings

• Silence notifications

• Go to the library

• Screen-free mornings and evenings

• Volunteer

• Delay your replies/remove urgency

• Upbeat or cheerful tv or movies

• Learn a new hobby

Breath

• Alternate nostril breathing, especially with left

• Sing, sigh, hum, gargle

• Psychological sigh: sharp, quick inhales followed by long, forceful exhale

• Deep diaphragmatic breathing,

• Box breathing

Your nervous system doesn’t respond to logic and mindset… it responds to primal signals like sensation, rhythm and vibration. In other words, Safety must be experienced, not declared.

Connection

Seek out environments that feel safe, warm and easy for connection. These aren't luxuries, they're necessary conditions for healing to happen.

One of the most important discoveries in modern neurobiology is the role of oxytocin, often called the “calm and connect” hormone. Released through the process of co-regulation , oxytocin quickly lowers stress, balances cortisol, and fosters trust, safety, and connection.

• Gentle voice

• Kind eyes

• Judgement-free

• Present attention

• Calm presence

• Warm presence

• Grounded presence

• Predictable

• Regulated

• Listening, not fixing

• Respectful

• Responsive

• Accomodating

• Welcoming

• Asking questions

• Enjoyable social activities

• Talk to strangers

• Send a handwritten letter

• Prepare a meal to share

• 20-second hug

• Be fully present in conversation

• Talking to self - Audible Digestion

Science has showed that the healthiest people aren’t stress-free — they’re the simple ones who process stress out loud instead of storing it internally. People who rarely get sick or burned out have one shared habit: they talked to themselves out loud. Speaking thoughts aloud lowers stress hormones by 35%, while remaining silent keeps cortisol elevated longer, leading to higher inflammation and weakened immunity over time. This habit unconsciously regulates the nervous system through a process of "verbal digestion"

Touch

The fastest way to release oxytocin is through warm, gentle, touch—hugs, holding, cuddling, massage, either to yourself, or with others or a pet. Research shows that even brief moments of loving touch can bring the body back into inner safety, calm and resilience.

• Butterfly hug or massage

• Big 6 lymph massage (rub/slap/tap)

• Gentle scratching (forearm, scalp)

• Self-massage of head and neck, arms or legs

• Heart Center & Belly Circles

• Frontal occipital holding (cradling your forehead and neck)

• Face cradle

• Rocking

• Holding ankles

• Forehead to forehead

• Eyebrow swipping

Try wanting more but doing the least, for a change.

Get your cortisol under control through sleep, diet, exercise, for full-body benefits: higher energy, easier fat loss, and better focus.

Slowing Down to NOW

Some of us are in the grind, going through the motions of life - waiting for weekends, vacations, retirement, or someday to really live, to BE.

But Life is happening right now, in this breath, in this moment, in this regular day that will never come again.

Our joy doesn't have to be reserved for special occasions. Our pleasure doesn't require permission.

The most luxurious thing you can give yourself is time to notice more detail around you.. The glimmers that make life special and unique. The sacred hiding in plain sight.

Slowing down in a world obsessed with speed is the ultimate luxury. Being fully present in a culture of constant distraction is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Remind yourself daily: It's safe to slow down.

Reminder: If you're lucky, Your life is made up of approximately 25,000 days. Most of those days will be ordinary—filled with routine tasks, familiar faces, and predictable rhythms. You can spend those days waiting for something extraordinary to happen, or you can learn the art of making the ordinary extraordinary.

We can do this by elevating daily small rituals with presence.

• Turn a shower into a spa,

• Turn breakfast into a tasting experience,

• Turn bedtime into a retreat.

• Notice the light shifting across your floor.

• Notice the texture of a fabric

• Watch the breeze move the grass

• Feel the water temperature

  
  

These small moments of presence whisper SAFETY louder than any grand escape.

This isn’t about forcing positivity or pretending problems don’t exist. It’s about recognizing that even in difficult seasons, there are moments worth savouring, small beauties worth noticing, and simple pleasures worth experiencing fully.

A life well-lived isn’t measured by peak experiences and grandeos moments, but by how much presence, gratitude, and intentionality you bring to the spaces in between.

Your nervous system is always listening. Every moment of pause or presence is a love letter to your body that says: You are safe. You can rest. You can heal.

Your body isn’t broken. It’s doing its primal job of protection.

A Different Perspective

Telling people to regulate themselves, to expect them to always be regulated calm and collected for your comfort is a colonist mindset. Our oppressors always prefer that we remain predictable, docile, polite and quiet. Being "good" simply means we're easier to control.

Our bodies are meant to shake, erupt, cry, rage, disassociate or go numb. All of these are normal responses are ancient protective mechanisms to keep us safe

We need to stop putting pressure on those of us carrying heaviest loads of grief, worry, and pain from past trauma. We need to stop telling people their reactions aren't valid or acceptable or appropriate. We need to stop shaming people for their responses and encouraging people to fix themselves.

You are not weak, failing, or dysfunctional because you cry, shake, feel.

Let's unlearn the systems that feared aliveness, that punished emotions, that taught us being small and manageable was better.

Real wellness is about authenticity, not agreeability. Truth and honesty over masking and molding yourself into someone you're not.

Telling someone to calm down in a moment of overwhelm is like telling the skin to stop bleeding when it's punctured. It simply can't because it's the body responding. It's a natural process.

Remember, your stress is not a personal failing—it’s simply an environmental or informational overload from living in an always-on world. We simply were not designed to take in this much information.

Wrapping It Up

Doctors, friends ad family may dismiss you but keep listening to your body. The answer isn’t to escape from stress. It’s to build your RESILIENCE to it through easy, simple tools and lifestyle changes.

Healing the body, regulating the nervous system and rewiring the body from trauma into safety, means unsubscribing from the hustle culture or urgency mode of modern society. It means taking back your power and energy., and redefining ambition and success.

Taking care of yourself and setting limits doesn’t mean giving up—it means growing stronger, smarter. It means reaching our goals in a healthier, more strategic, and more sustainable way.

"Safety allows the body to complete the interrupted response.”

Dr. Peter Levine

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Erin is a certified feng shui consultant, energy healer, wellness coach and holistic growth strategist.

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